Essentially Immortal
by selena1234
Summary: During the Graveyard Incident, Harry wanted to know: Why did Voldemort kill his parents that day? Thinking to humour the boy, Voldemort shares the Prophecy. Harry then goes on to share how utterly fake it is. Unsure on how true it is, Voldemort summons Serverus... and it goes downhill from there. Or does it?
1. Long ago, the four houses

**Them plot bunnies attacked again.**

**I know this has been done before, but, meh. I might continue if it's requested.**

**XxXxX**

Essentially Immortal

It was a cold, foggy afternoon at the Riddle Graveyard.

Harry struggled within his holdings, as the ghastly form of Voldemort rose from the cauldron.

"Voldemort," Harry said, stopping his useless struggle. "Before we go over this scenario again, tell me; why did you go after my parents that night?"

Voldemort glanced at the child, once his robes had been put on. Deciding to humour him, Voldemort smiled. "Well, there was - is - a Prophecy. It went something like...

_The one with the power to defeat the Dark Lord approaches, _

_born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies..."_

"Is that it?" Harry asked, his mind swimming. "That's it? Three lines of fake?"

Voldemort warily glanced at Harry. "What do you mean?"

"Prophecies are garbage and self-fufilling. Honestly! Professer Trelawny has made nothing concrete and true, and this is the end of the second year I've known her!"

Voldemort blinked twice. "So you're saying I chased after a false prophecy."

"No," Harry replied, rolling his eyes. "Calling it false implies that there is a such thing as a real one. I'm calling it words - a fable - a story that you _fell for!_"

Voldemort spun angrily and called his Death Eaters. Serverus was no where to be seen.

"Someone needs to get Serverus." He ordered. Immediately, Pettigrew left. "Potter. You know nothng more about this prophecy, other than what I told you, correct?"

"Yes, that's right." Harry said. "It's honestly not surprising that Dumbledore hid something like this from me. By the way, _Born as the seventh month dies._ In the really old days, there was no July and August - there were Ten months. _Sept_ember, with the prefix _Sept, _meaning _Seven_." Harry rolled his eyes again. "It doesn't even lable you by _name! _It just says _The Dark Lord._"

Voldemort scowled. Serverus popped into existance. "My Lord," He greeted, bowing deeply.

"Serverus." Voldemort replied, coldly. "Is it true that the prophecy you fed me was _false_?"

"I... I do not know, my Lord. I simply gave you what I had heard... the prophet wasn't finished when I had left..." Serverus gulped. "However, I was told later the full contents... by Dumbledore... after your defea-" Serverus cleared his throat. "Your retreat."

Voldemort glanced at Harry, then back to Serverus. "Tell me now, then, the full contents."

Serverus flexed his fingers, slowly weighing his options. Tell - and be spared, though yelled at by Dumblefore - or Keep - and be killed now.

"_... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal," _Serverus recited flawlessly. "_but he will have the power that the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other... for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies." _

"Harry?" Voldemort asked, turning to the boy, who was by now swinging his legs impatiently.

"_Marked as Equal _- that's the scar I wouldn't have gotten unless you went after me. _Must die at the hand of the other_ - I killed you that night, technically. _Neither can live while other survives _- why isn't one of us dead then?" Harry kept thinking for a second, then he had an idea. "Hey, Voldy, get me down for a sec."

Warily, Voldemort did as Harry asked. "Why?"

Harry handed Voldemort his wand, then he turned to Lucius.

"Kill me." He ordered.

"What? No!" Voldemort exclaimed. "Why?"

"It's a test - a theory, if you will. Do it."

Lucius looked to his Lord for confirmation. Voldemort nodded, unsure where this was going.

"_Avada Kedavra!_" Lucius said, the green spell smacking Harry right on the chest. He collapsed in a puff of dust.

Everyone held their breath for a minute, until they heard a cough. "Lucius, help him up." Voldemort ordered. He did so.

"So I was right." Harry said, a bit dazed. "Only I can kill you, and only you can kill me, Voldemort." Harry's face split into a smile, and he coughed again. "So, congradulations. We're essentially Immortal."

**XxXxX**

**I still have plenty of ideas, if you care for more, and this was not meant to be Sirius.**


	2. lived together in harmony!

**Upon popular demand, here you go.**

**Man. I should seriously be uploading Lumox instead. XD**

**XxXxX**

"Essentially... what?" Voldemort asked, taken off guard.

"Immortal, Voldemort, Immortal!" Harry laughed. "That makes more sense than I am willing to admit. It explains that one day..." Harry started laughing, a higher-pitched, hysterical laugh.

Voldemort looked around his remaining supporters while Harry got over his laughing fit. Lucius, Severus, Nott, MacNair, Voldemort counted off in his head quickly. Bellatrix was still in prison - needs to be fixed - and Crouch was at Hogwarts.

"Say, Voldmort," Harry said, after his laughing fit. "I am not entirely keen on death, ya know? And I'm sure you don't want to die - again - either. So here's a deal - we won't go after eachother, 'kay?"

"What?" Voldemort asked, looking back at the fourteen-year-old nuisance. "Repeat that and _clarify_."

"Think about it; I can't be killed, and neither can you, so long as we're not fighting. Prophecies are _self-fufilling!_ Had you not gone after me, I wouldn't have been marked - we wouldn't be here right now. I have wanted _nothing more _than to be treated normally my whole life - and now I'm _immortal!_ I have forever to do whatever I want! And honestly, Voldemort, that option is looking fantastic. So long as you leave my friends alone - go after Dumbledore for all I care - I won't go after you. If, for any reason, the day comes where my friends turn on me, I'll be the one to kill them - are we agreed?

"And now I'm sure you're wondering what I meant by that last comment. To be honest, I don't like Ron all that much - he's much too close-minded and stupid. He's an anti-Draco, and Draco is an anti-Ron. They're at opposite extreme ends of the spectrum and I swear, it was all I could do to not kill him _this _year when he turned his back on me. My only other choice is Hermione, who's an annoying Know-it-all. I mean, _honestly!_ She's more of a Nuisance to me than I was to you! I am a fairly smart person - growing up at the Dursleys, I had no friends other than the people I could find in books. Ron was my first ever friend, as much as I hate to admit it, and he is as dumb as a Rock. I lowered myself so that he could be less... angry at me, and then _she _shows up and shows me what I _could _be doing - upstaging _everyone_. She's annoying, and she's stupid, and I'm done monolouging. Are we agreed? Do we got a deal, Voldemort?"

"Uh..." Voldemort said stupidly, for a moment, registering his whole speech. Was he being honest? The bloody Golden-Trio he had heard all about was, in truth, loosely-formed at best? The Boy-who-lived was _borderline Dark?_

"Yes. We have a deal. Write to me - your owl should be able to find me - about who all is included in your list for now. We will keep in correspondence, of course, for pure bookmark reasons, so that we can keep track of eachother. Otherwise, Harry Potter, I bid you a farewell." Harry and Voldemort bowed to eachother, a symbol of equality, and Harry walked back to the Cup.

"Oh!" Harry said softly, walking back. "Wand," Harry said, taking it right from his hands. "Cedric," Harry then walked to the fallen boy, and dragged him to the cup. "Hmm... Traumatized Hero? Eh... yes, that seems fine." Harry sat for a second more, fabricating a story for Dumbledore, and then grabbed for the Cup.

"Wait," Voldemort said. Quickly, Voldemort transfigured a rock to a small silver snake bracelet, with a small Dark Mark engraved in its' head. "Wear this. All Death Eaters would know to leave you alone." Harry smiled at the Dark Lord and put it on his left wrist, before he portkeyed back off to feed people his story.

XxXxX

"He's back!" He cried convincingly, covered in blood. "Voldemort's Back!"

The crowd errupted in confusion.

Harry won the Triwiz Tournament, and he gave the money to the Weasley Twins. If anything is good about the Weasley Family, it would be the Twins.

Mad-Eye ignored Harry for the last few days of school, for whatever reason.

Harry sat in the End-Of-Year Feast (Gryffindor Won), glancing over all of the tables with his quill posed over a parchment. _Ron, Hermione,_ he wrote, glancing around. _Neville,_ he wrote, supposing that the boy wasn't to horrible. Harry glanced around again, wanting to bang his head on the table. How did he get so... _isolated?_ Of the whole Wizarding World, the only people he could write down were three of his yearmates, all Gryffindor, and perhaps the Weasley Twins? _That was IT?_

As Harry added Fred and George to his small list, Harry mentally told himself that he would need to make more friends for next year.

_Dear Lord of the Shadow Realms,_

_I don't know. It seemed fitting. Anyways, I have created my list for you:_

_Ron Weasley_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_Hermione Granger_

_Neville Longbottom_

_Sirius Black_

_Remus Lupin_

_This is everyone for now. I'm sure even you had more _friends_ in school, but I am horribly isolated. That will change next year; any Slytherins half way decent that you reccomend? _

_Did you know that the Sorting Hat almost put me in Slytherin? It would have, too, had Ron not been more convincing than Draco in the whole "PureBlood Supremacy angle". Otherwise, I am fine. I included Chocolate for you, for no reason at all. Hope you enjoy. _

_I don't actually know much about You as a person, considering my knowledge here is limited to You = Evil. Evil = Destroy. Destroy = Me Hero. Me Hero = Good._

_Or something like that. Care to share?_

_Anyways, Hermione's looking at me oddly. _

_See you - or maybe not _

_-Harry of the Potters_

_P.s. I really don't want to go back to my relatives. I mean I _really _don't want to. Seriously, they're worse than you are - er, were._

Harry rolled up his letter and tied it to Hedwig, smiling.

Ron and Hermione looked suspicious.

Harry _never_ writes letters, and it couldn't have been to Sirius.


	3. Then, everything changed when

**Hades, Merlin, Guys, what's with this sharp spike of Fanfic stuff? It's awesome, I'm not complaining, but still. It's a bit crazy! But don't stop.**

**I have a snowday today, so expect Chapters!**

**Warning: Abuse, but for good, funny reasons!**

**XxXxX**

"BOY!" Yelled Vernon, smacking the boy to the ground. Harry ran his tongue along his teeth, ignoring the taste of copper, to make sure they didn't get knocked loose. "How many times to I have to tell you to do it RIGHT?"

For whatever reason, Harry felt unexplainable anger that was not his.

"I'm so-" Harry began, but was interrupted when the wind was knocked out of him via a swift kick to the stomach.

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE, BOY." Vernon went for another kick, when a knock sounded at the main door.

Vernon kicked Harry once more for good measure, then he went to answer the door while Dudly sat on Harry.

When he opened the door, the white face of Voldemort stared back. "Hello." He said, pleasently, running his fingers along his wand. "I was tipped off recently about a certain... _menace_ of mine in your care?"

Vernon's face was pale, having seen the wand, and he backed up as quick as he could for a mis-transfigured whale. Voldemort walked swiftly through the room, over to the Kitchen. Dudley immediately got up off of Harry and scrammed to his mother, while Voldemort kneeled by Harry. Harry was still wheezing, trying to get is breath back.

Voldemort poked Harry with the wand. "Honestly, Harry." Voldemort tutted. "You foil my plans four times, and then you get beat by muggles?"

Harry smiled slightly. "No magic during summer; you know that, Voldiesmorts."

Voldemort raised an eyebrow. "Voldieshmorts?"

Harry full-out smiled by this point. "You could have at least had a name that wasn't easy to make fun of. I mean, honestly. Mortdevol. Voldy. Moldyshorts, Voldieshmorts, Voldy - mart, the list is endless." Voldemort stood and offered Harry his hand.

"I suppose I have to deal with you all summer now?"

"Damn straight you do."

"Oh joy."

XxXxX

"I don't know, Ron." Hermione said, sitting at the main table in Grim-Old-Place. "It seems awfully suspicious. He got this odd.. look in his eyes when he was writing that letter. He never gets a _look_ like that when writing to Sirius - and he even said it himself. Sirius got _no letter_ from Harry."

"'cm m'on 'mienee." Ron replied, his mouth full of food. "'rry ds'n h've 'th'r fr'nd." He swallowed. "It was probably a list of what he needs to do over the summer or something. Those bloody muggles that he stays with probably are going to lock him up all summer like they did in second year."

"WHAT?" Sirius shouted, having heard their conversation. The rest of the table went silent. "They _locked him up?_"

"Yeah." Ron replied, not thinking - only eating. "Had bars on the window and a cat flap on the door. Starved him, too. Fred and George were only able to get his stuff 'cause they knew a muggle trick. Harry acted as if it was _normal_ at that, but hey, that's just Harry."

Sirius' nails dug into Walburga's favorite table. "I'm going to get him."

"Sirius!" Dumbledore said. "Don't do anything rash now-"

"No! Shut it, Dumbledore!" Sirius all but shouted, heading for the door. Remus stood and caught Sirius' arm. They paused, exchanging glances. Finally, Remus nodded, and the two were off.

XxXxX

It was several hours after Harry had left that Sirius and Remus knocked on the door.

_"-Snake?"_ They heard inside of the door. Finally, a whale opened the door.

"Hello." Sirius said, smiling.

"YOU!" Vernon screamed. "I WILL CALL THE COPS ON YOU, YOU LUNATIC!"

"Mister Dursley," Sirius said, having remembered the man from when Lily spoke of the whale. "I will pay you if you give me access to my Godson - Harry Potter, yes?"

Sirius could literally view the options rotating in his head. Money is good, therefore, criminal is good.

Vernon stepped aside. Remus and Sirius both stepped inside. "Money first." He said. Sirius handed the man a small bag of Galleons, and then he glanced around the room.

"So, where is he?"

"Oh, some snake-man came earlier and took him."

XxXxX

End of Chapter. Keep reading for bonus scene :3

XxXxX

"Harry, where exactly is your stuff?"

"Oh, well, some of it is up in my room," Harry said to Voldemort, glancing around the house. "Most of it is in the little cupboard. Yes, that one."

Voldemort got the boy's trunk out of it, definately noticing the dried up blood.

"Tell me, Harry," Voldemort said, closing it again. "Were I to do magic, would the Ministry register it as you?"

"Yes. No murdering my relatives - not yet." Harry said, walking down the stairs with the rest of his stuff, mock-scolding the Dark Lord.

"Harry, are those really the best clothes you have?"

Harry glanced at what he was wearing - large hand-me-downs. "Well, yeah, out of my muggle stuff. I have that horrid dress robe from the Yule Ball, as well, and I have my school robes, but that's it."

Voldemort's eye twiched. "We'll have to fix that."

"Woo!" Harry cried, as they left the house. "Shopping trip!"

XxXxX  
I know; it's a rediculious amout of fluff, but it's funny - I hope - right?

Sorry it's short, but oh well. I had to set up the next chapter.

Up Next Time:

Riddle Manor + Missing Discoveries


	4. the Slytherins attacked! Only the

**For ultimate future reference:**

**I respond with chapters faster with REVIEWS, not with Follows and Favorites. Honestly, in 10 hours, I got close to 15 Follows and 10 favorites**

**And two reviews.**

**Thank you, Aspygirlredo and ChaoticallyAwkward. You made my day better.**

**Not that it wasn't great already, but that's besides the point**

**XxXxX**

The Boy-who-lived and the Dark Lord apparated to the wards outside of Riddle Manor with ease. They could have apparated straight inside, but Voldemort wanted Harry to see the whole massive manor from the outside first.

"Hey," Harry said, "Isn't this really close to that Graveyard?"

Voldemort smiled slightly, slipping his Slytherin mask back on. "It is, yes. Riddle Manor is very old, and very noble in history. It is Muggle in origin - I myself am actually a Halfblood." Voldemort confessed, remembering that Harry had wanted information about it. "I was born to my Pureblood mother, with the surname of Gaunt. My mother bewitched my muggle father, who shares my name, with a love potion. She named me originally as Tom Marvolo Riddle, and then gave me to the local orphanage before dying. I grew up much like you did, without the whole emotional anger that comes with knowing that your tormenters are related to you. If anything, you grew up worse than I did. The only difference is that you had the whole Boy-Who-Lived status going for you so that you got the right friends and stayed out of the Dark. You said that the Hat wanted to put you in Slytherin - why didn't you?"

Harry nodded his head back and forth as the two approached the gates, considering his answer. "I had met Draco earlier, at Diagon Alley. He seemed much like my cousin, Dudley - "

"The baby seal?"

"That's the one. Draco reminded me of Dudly, and so, when I heard him rant on about the Great and Noble House of Slytherin, I didn't want to go there, if only because Draco was in it. That was it, truly, and I can't say I don't fully regret my decision."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, truly, had I not gone to Gryffindor, I wouldn't have met Ron and Hermione like I did. They're... useful, at times, especially when foiling your quote-unquote Evil Plan of the Year. But now, considering I don't need them to help me foil this year's Evil Plan, they're useless, aren't they?"

Voldemort simply nodded, as they approached the doors. "I need to key you in."

Harry glanced at the large doors. "Why is there a giant snake symbol carved into the doors?"

Voldemort glanced at Harry oddly. "You truly know nothing about your parents' killer, do you?"

Harry shook his head as he traced the snake.

"This is called a Dark Mark - I give it to all of my followers, right on their left forearm. They are all interconnected, so that if use one mark, I can summon all of them - or certain ones. We also shoot it up into the sky, whenever we kill someone, usually large groups of someones."

Harry traced it again for a second before removing his finger. "Cool. How do you key me in?"

Voldemort's response was to quickly grab Harry's hand and prick his finger with a small knife. "Trace the snake again," He ordered. Harry did as asked. The snake glowed green, before settling back down.

"Ah!" Harry said, as the wound closed. "I remember now! Barty Crouch's elf shot it up into the air with my wand at the Quiddich Cup."

Voldemort opened the door, shaking his head. "It was Bartemus Crouch Junior, actually, who shot it up. He was sentenced to Azkaban, but his mother swapped places with him and died, while Senior kept Junior under an Invisibility Cloak. This past year, he paraded as "Mad-Eye" Moody in order to get you into the-"

"Triwizard Tournament." The two finished as one, Harry nodded in understanding. "So, my room, then...?"

"Here, let me grant you a Grand Tour..."

XxXxX

"Dumbldore!" Sirius said, very out of breath, as he burst open the previously-warded door. "He's gone! Voldemort - Snake-Man took my godson!"

"_What?_" Dumbledore said, hardly believing it. Those Blood-Wards were impossible to break! Quickly, he left the wards of Grimmauld Place and apparated to Number Four. Sure enough, the wards were still there - so _what...?_

Dumblefore returned to the headquarters, to deliver the news that Harry had been, indeed, captured.

Molly errupted into heart-wrenching sobs.

Up at the top of the stairs, listening out of Expandable Ears, were the Twins, Hermione and Ron.

"I don't understand..." Ron said. "We just talked to him a week ago and... and he..."

Hermione was trying all she could to not start crying.

"He's not Dead." Fred said confidently.

"Yeah, he's not Dead." George said.

"Beacue Harry-"

"-Potter-"

"Does not Die." They finished in unison.

Molly left the room a minute later, to see the Ears. She didn't have the heart to scold them - they must know, at least, by now the fate of their young friend.

XxXxX

"This is so cool!" Harry exclaimed, looking up to the roof of the tall Manor.

When the door had closed behind them, the brackets for torches sensed their magic and all lit up. It was unusual, for a muggle house, but Voldemort had been quick to inform Harry that he had set the home up for better use during his war.

The double doors lead to a very long formal dining room. The left staircase had a small door in it, leading to the kitchens where House Elves would have usually been found. There were, however, none there at the time. The Left corridor lead into a family woom as well as a large, formal ball room. The Right corridor lead to an office, as well as a playroom. The toys in the room were all broken or burnt, and the walls had random spots of burns as well, as if Voldemort had used the room for training.

"Indeed," Voldemort said, when he had been asked, "This room is for training exclusively."

The Second Floor was set up similarly, with a drawing room behind the first set of doors you lay eyes on. There were five other rooms on the floor, each bedrooms with a bathroom attached.

The Third Floor contained nothing but doors to the Master Bedroom and Bathroom. Two of the four walls had been lined with books; the first wall had been occupied by the enormous bed, the third wall occupied by the railings looking out into the entry hall. This was Voldemort's Room, obviously.

Once that part of the Tour was over, Voldemort lead Harry back to the first floor right corridor. There was a torch on the wall that Voldemort pulled down. The wall slid to the side to reveal stairs going downards.

The Basement was a very, very large labrynth. The first floor of the dungeons wasn't too horribly confusing, as it was set up much like the above floors were. The rooms down here were for sleeping arrangements. The second floor was like the first, used for storage. It was the third and forth floors below that became confusing, a large labrynth of jail cells and pain.

Harry vowed to stay out of those floors.

For now.

Until then, Harry had chosen a special room he had managed to find. In the second room on floor negative one, the room was empty, and a small snake carving was on the wall.

Having remembered the Chamber of Secrets, Harry hissed 'Open' to the snake, and it slid aside to reveal a pathway to a very large bedroom.

This room here was Harry's.

XxXxX


	5. Chosen One, master of all

Welcome to Updateapalooza! I am going to update all of my stories. Every 2 reviews is a new one! So be on the lookout and enjoy!

XxXxX

The trip to Diagon Alley happened not three days later, and Harry was going to pay for it all. He refused to let Voldemort - who had disguised himself as Tom - pay for it, claiming that Voldemort had done more than enough for him already.

They had a traditional, regular, cliche Diagon Alley trip, in which they got Harry new clothes, his glasses fixed, an unlimited and light-weight trunk/backpack and whatnot. They then took a trip to Knockturne Alley in order to get Harry a cool snake - a baby Ashwinder whom Harry had named Hebi - japanese for Snake.

Real Original, am I right?

On their way back from Knockturne, Harry was ran into by a bushy-haired nuscince. He nearly choked on her hair. "Hello, Hermione."

"Oh, Harry!" She said, strangling him. He had a very sudden, odd urge to rip her hair out. "We were _so_ worried about you! I came here alone today to buy some books, we thought you were dead and -" Voldemort cleared his throat.

Hermione released her captive and looked over at 'Tom'. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Hello, I'm Hermione Granger! Who are you?"

"I am Tom Riddle." Voldemort said, making a face at having to use his muggle name. "I am Harry's-"

"He saved me from Voldemort." Harry interrupted, coming up with a lie on the spot. "Hey, I'll tell you all about it over Lunch, yeah? Here, I know a great resturaunt over in Creature Alley - it's just off of Knockturn. We were there for breakfast!"

"Oh, I don't think-"

"No, come on! I insist!" Harry said, dragging Hermione with him. The resturaunt was dark in origin, so Harry didn't feel guilty about what he was about to do.

"Obliviate." He said, as soon as they were far enough away from Diagon to get away with it. As she was still dazed, he guided her back to Diagon. One less problem.

"What did you do that for?" Voldemort asked, as soon as Harry was back.

"I didn't want my position given away. I'm actually _enjoying _this summer, thank you." Harry smiled as they apparated back to the manor. He was not facing Voldemort, so he missed the Dark Lord's smile of victory.

XxXxX

A week later found Harry wandering around the Manor during a Death Eater meeting. He knew that he wasn't horribly safe here, of course, so he had put on an Acromantula silk robe that he had gotten while at his Cliche Shopping Spree. The hood was up, so he looked like any other Death Eater. Or so he hoped.

He was wrong, he reflected back on later, as he was forcefully thrown at Voldemort's feet. Bellatrix had caught him.

"My lord!" She cackled. "I found him wandering around the manor, my Lord! What shall we doooooo with hiiim?"

"We could cut off his fingers and feed them to him!" One Death Eater yelled.

Instantly, all of the others erruped into suggestions - all silenced with a wave of Voldemort's hand.

"We will not do anything to the boy." Voldemort said, standing right by Harry, who was still being held in a kneeling position. "I have invited him to stay for the summer, here at the Manor. Some of you were there, last month, when a startling revelation was revealed. The prophecy I was given those long years ago was _self-fufilling._ That means that because I acted on it, Harry is forced to complete it. However, _Neither can Live while the other survives._ If this was true, why are we still both alive? Harry had Lucius kill him with the Avada Kedavra - and he lived through it still. I cannot be killed, except by his hand, and He cannot be killed, except by mine. He and I are Essentially Immortal, so long as we do not fight. So, he had been invited to stay at the Manor. That is all you need to know." Voldemort scanned the stunned looks of his Death Eaters - none was more stunned than Severus.

_That Arrogant brat is immortal!?_ Severus thought, his eyes following the boy as he was released from the spell. _I'll have to tell Dumbledore!_

Harry smiled as he got up and streched.

"Harry, just... just go and do something next to my throne... I don't know." Harry did as he was told, transfiguring some rocks.

It was half an hour later that their meeting was interrupted again, by a large Explosion sound that occured, right where Harry was. The one red rock he had been playing with had become six more, identical rocks.

"Hey! Hey! Your Dark Lordship! Come look at what I did!"

Voldemort sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose... er...

"Wormtail," He commanded. The rat-man with the silver hand stood up straighter. "Go and play with the brat, will you?"

Wormtail nodded frantically and went over to where Harry was.

Harry had invented a new game. There were two sets of rocks - a red and a green set. If the rocks were not keyed into your magic, every time one touched you, they'd explode into six more. Ten minutes into their throwing-rocks-game, Wormtail went to pick up a red rock - his colour - and he was covered in a thick, green slime.

"Haha!" Harry said, laughing. "The Globs are here! Every time you grab a Glob, half of your rocks turn to the enemy colour and you're stunned for 20 seconds." Sure enough, when the 20 seconds was up, the slime dissapeared.

Harry decided the game was over when he said, "Gobsnap, Reset." The two piles were reduced to two singular rocks, and two small numbers hovered over them for a second. Green had 1683, Red had 927.

To celibrate his victory, Harry Started a new game - Harry and Voldemort (green) versus the Death Eaters (red).


	6. Four Personallities could stop them

Severus couldn't believe it! That _brat!_ He worked his way hard and solid into the Dark Lord's service - and what does the bloody Boy-Who-Lived do? He waltzes right in and gets the Dark Lord's favour!

Severus was ranting to himself about the unfairness as he was walking back up to the Castle. He had a potion to brew in order to get all of this... green _muck_ off of him. Magic didn't work on it.

_Severus,_ said his Concious, having finally woken up. _You promised to protect him, no matter what happened. Does him going Dark count?_

Severus froze. _Yes, I suppose it counts... So I still have to protect him? Despite the fact that he hates me?_

_But does he really hate you? _His concious asked. Severus sighed. It was very rarely that his concious was so against him like this. It was even rarer that it woke up long enough to warn him against something. Honestly; it was why he had gone to the Dark Lord in the first place. His bloody concious was asleep.

_Of course he does. He hates me just like Lily did._

His concious sighed. _You're stupid. We're stupid. Don't tell Dumbledore. Wait a week. If he shows signs of being truly Dark, then you can tell him. _His concious grumbled as it went back to sleep.

Severus hit the palm of his hand against his forehead. _I need a Drink._

XxXxX

"Please?"  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
Harry took a deep breath as he leaned over Voldemort's paperwork. "_Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseteachmebecauseillstoppesteringyouifyoudoandohhowivewantedtolearnthisstuffcomeonpleaspleasepleaseple-"_

_"FINE!"_ Voldemort shouted, throwing the paper in his hand on the desk. "I'll teach you! Or whatever... just... Stop pestering me and grab a beginner book on it! Sit there and read chapter one."

Harry excitedly ran down into the Library (which was in the basement) to grab a beginner book. It wasn't hard to find - he had been planning this day for a while and had already read several beginner books. He grabbed one he hadn't read and ran back up to Voldemort's room.

He sat in silence and read it for ten minutes - it pretty much said the same thing as the other books.

"Done!" He said, slamming the book closed.

Voldemort sighed. He then put his wand to a small little box on the table and said "Bellatrix". Sure enough, two minutes later, the girl knocked on the door before walking in. She glanced at Harry.

"Yes, my Lord?" Harry had learned earlier that she was the only one allowed in Voldemort's room. He didn't even _want_ to think of why.

"Take Harry to the training room. Teach him with the newer Death Eaters or whatever." He then shooed her as he set a parchment aside.

"Yaaaay!" Harry said, while running past Bellatrix.

"Harry! Slow down!" Harry did so. Slightly. "For _Merlin's_ sake, Harry. Stop."

Harry stopped, causing Bellatrix to walk a bit past him.

She caught her breath. "Harry, if you just walk in there during training, you could get hurt. The Dark Lord would have my head for that."

Harry nodded, his excitement no less.

"Okay, Letrix!" She scowled at him. Once they reached the burnt playroom, Bellatrix knocked. She waited for the _"Stop firing"_ to come through the door before opening it. Lucius was there, in front of the enlargened room. There were training dummies, instead of actual muggles. Voldemort had ordered the change because they didn't want the Ministry to realise that they were back yet. Many others were in the room, shooting him odd looks.

"Lucius," Bellatrix said, pulling Harry slightly up to where he was. "The Dark Lord had ordered Harry to be taught as well."

Lucius' face spread into a smile. "I see. Thank you, Bellatrix. Are you going to stay here and teach him seperately?"

She shook her head. "I have other plans."

"Okay, then. Have fun." She nodded before leaving. Lucius turned to the trainees and casted a _Sonorus_ on himself. "Commence!" He said, before casting the counter _Quietus_ spell. He then turned to Harry. "So, Harry," He said, conjuring two chairs for them to sit in. "What all do you want to learn and what do you _know?_"

Harry smiled, before considering his answer. "What do I _want_ to learn? Probably everything. I'd like to call myself pretty good in lighter charms and hexes, but only because those are the only things that the school teaches."

Lucius picked up the hidden meaning with years of practice. "You want to learn the Dark Arts." It was no question - something in this universe was _totally _screwed up.

Harry nodded, his face lit up in a very large smile.

Lucius sighed, considering his options. Teach the boy - but to what extent? Don't teach the boy - Crucio from the Dark Lord.

"Alright, what do you know about them?"

XxXxX

Severus had finally figured out an antidote to the odd green Goop.

It was three hours. _Three Hours_ and it wears off.

In those three hours he was waiting, he had considered his options.

Finally, he came to a conclusion.

He would help _Lily's Son._ Not James' son - Lily's son. He would follow the boy to Hell and back, if only to make Lily proud of him when he saw her again.


	7. But when the world needed him most,

**Thank you to the reviewers.**

**XxXxX**

Once Severus was set with his decision, he got up and set his drink down. If Harry was on Voldemort's side, and Severus was on Harry's, then - by extension - Severus is on Voldemort's side.

He hated teaching anyways.

Quickly, Severus packed up whatever he could fit into a large bag - he then hit his forehead and casted a spell to make the trunk larger. He had packed everything he needed, and left the castle.

XxXxX

Voldemort was sorting out his Master Plan, checking things off of the list, when he realised that these plans focused around killing Harry Potter. He cursed - he would have to rethink all of his plans again.

He set those aside and reached for a blank parchment - his musings were then interrupted by a knock on the door.

Now who could that be?

It wasn't Bellatrix - her mission wouldn't be over until midnight.

"Enter." He said, putting the parchment down. To his surprise, it was Severus. "Severus, what are you doing here? You know servants aren't allowed in my room."

Severus nodded, his eyes glancing uneasily around the room. "Do you know where Harry is? I have a question to ask him."

"Oh?" Voldemort stood up and went to circle around the man. "And what question would this be?"

Voldemort's pacing served to make Severus anxious. "I had promised his mother when I was younger that I would make sure that Harry is happy and safe. I just wanted to make sure that he truly wanted this choice, and that he is happy here, so that my promise doesn't come back on me."

Voldemort paced for another minute before going back to his desk. "He's in the Training Room. He wanted me to teach him the Dark Arts because he was getting board - I, of course, am busy, so I sent him to Lucius."

Severus bowed. "Thank you, my Lord."

"Yes, yes."

Severus quickly made his way down to the Training room and knocked on the door. He, like the others, knew to wait for the calling of a cease-fire.

XxXxX

Harry had mastered a few of the more simple spells before the other Death Eaters were told to stop. The door opened to reveal Snape. Harry had recalled seeing him at the meeting, but he hadn't paid it much attention. Since when has Snape been a Death Eater? No, scratch that. Harry always knew that the git was evil.

"Lucius, if I may borrow the boy?" Snape asked, his ice-cold mask falling back into place, despite how horrible he was feeling.

"Of course. We were just about to work on Occulemency next, and, as I'm sure you know, I am no good at the art. Go ahead and take the boy - I need to train these dunderheads further."

Severus nodded his thanks before leading Harry to his room on the second floor. Quickly, he sat the boy down in the chair from his Desk while Severus sat on his bed.

"Ha - Potter. Tell me. _Are you happy here?_"

Harry's eyes widened. Where had this come from?

"Why do you care? You've always been evil, and, last time I checked, Bad Guys don't have concerns."

_Oh, that stupid, annoying cheeky brat. _

_No, Severus. Focus. This is Lily's child._

Severus sighed. "Look, Harry. I knew your mother when we were children. I promised to her not long before she died that I would look after you - I would make sure that you were Happy -"

"THEN WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS AT THE DURSLEYS!" Harry shouted, his temper flaring.

Severus recoiled, as the last time someone shouted at him... well, they died the next day.

"I had thought that -" Severus began, before getting interrupted. Again.

"Thought what? That I was spoiled? I was _happy_ and _living it up_ as the bloody boy-who-lived?! I was _abused and starved_ in that home, you greasy dungeon-bat! Do you call that _Happy?_"

Severus felt as if he had been struck. _Abused?_

"I had no ide-"

"_No idea._ You had _no idea_. Oh, of couse, I'm sure you didn't, but it goes to show what that promise to mum meant to you! _Concerned about my happyness_ - yeah right! Neither you _nor_ Dumbledore checked up on me! Did you know that I committed suicide_ thirteen seperate_ times in that house? But _none of it worked!_ I was the bloody boy-who-lived, forced to do what I didn't want to. Forced to complete a prophecy I wanted nothing to do with!" As Harry got angrier, the more his magic reacted. "The best thing that had ever happened to me was that night in the Graveyard. I learned that I had a purpose - a reason to live. I learned that there was _someone _out there who cared what happened to me. Ron and Hermione? No, they didn't care about me _at all!_ Only about my status and what it'd get me. I am Happy and Content here where people will tell me what I want to know _when_ I want to know it! I don't have to hold back here - and I _refuse to go back!_" With his last word, several of the glass vials in Severus' room shattered.

"I didn't know you felt that way, Harry." Snape said, not bothering to clean the glass.

Harry sat in the chair and caught his breath, trying to reign in his anger.

"Now it's my turn to share secrets, yes?" Severus said, leaning back against the wall.

Outside of the door, Voldemort smiled a most twisted smile.


	8. He vanished! Ten years passed and

_**One hundred and thirty-three **_**follows, and only - **_**only**_** fourty-four reviews.**

**I have no idea where I went right.**

**XxXxX**

Over the last few weeks of the summer break, Harry devoted himself to his studies.

"I don't understand," Lucius had told Severus one day in the DELL room (Death Eater's Laughable Lair). "I looked up all of his grades in school and they all seemed average at best."

Sevrus had nodded, the drink in his hand swirling. "He confessed to me that first day that he had lived with his muggle relatives who hated everything to do with magic. They had beat the boy and made sure that if he did anything to surpass their son, they would make him regret it. It had been wired into him at an early age to hold back as much as possible, and that principle had stuck with him, mostly due to that dunderhead 'friend' of his, the youngest Weasley male. They're not really friends anymore, so he doesn't have to worry about it."

Lucius' eyes had been wide - was it true? The Wizarding World's _'saviour' _had been abused?

Severus had seemed to catch on at that point, and so he had taken a drink before continuing. "It surprised me, too. I had loved Lily, and to think that those... those _muggles_ tortured him so..." Severus at this point had been shaking in barely-controlled rage. Lucius knew of his friend's past, so he knew where this sudden rage came from.

"If it makes you feel better, Severus, I would be glad to-"

"No, Lucius, don't. Harry had already told Voldemort off about doing so."

Lucius' eyes had gone wider. "He... that boy-?"

Severus had nodded. "Voldemort seems to have some sort of soft spot for the boy - however, this could also be because of the fact that, so long as the boy is alive, so is he."

"Is that truly what you think?" one of the Death Eaters had said, one who had missed the big reveal. "It's going around that the boy is truly his _son!_"

"I heard," said another, "That the boy has him under the _imperius!_ I've seen how rediculiously talented in _the Arts_ the boy is!"

The arguing had continued until the early light of day, by which time Severus had begun to feel uneasy.

XxXxX

Harry went with the Malfoys to Diagon Alley not long before school. He had hoped that the Weasleys wouldn't be there, but alas, Luck was never on Harry's side. They met up in the book shop; Harry and the Malfoys had split up temporarily - Harry to get their books, Draco to refill their potions. Harry and Draco had slowly become reluctant friends - they were both forced by their respective guardians - Severus and Lucius had figured out how to wrestle the custody of Harry out of the Muggles' hands - to become friends, if only because they were 'on the same side'.

Draco had learned early that Harry wasn't a horrible person to be around, so long as Draco said nothing about blood purity.

Anyways, at Flourish and Blotts, Harry was sorting through some books - obscure light duelling spells and potions books (he had already grabbed the required books) - when he was spotted by a certain redhead and a bushy brown-haired girl.

"Harry!" Hermione squieled, running to the boy.

Harry cursed, softly, and ignored them.

"Harry, mate, what's wrong?" Ron asked, clapping Harry's shoulder. Harry hissed quietly in pain - he had burned that shoulder in an odd misfire. Quickly, Harry pulled down his Occulemency shields and stood up from his place on the floor and gathered his books. With a completely straight face, he didn't glance at them and checked out.

"Harry! Talk to us! You're alive! Do you have _any_ idea how scared we had been for you? No note, your stuff was gone - you could have died! You could have been seen!" Hermione ranted, sounding oddly similar to Mrs. Weasley in his second year.

He thanked the store clerk quietly and turned to the door, when Ron grabbed the sleeve of his cloak. The fabric pulled awkwardly at his bandaged shoulder, causing him to make a small yelping sound as the gauze slid across the burn.

"Harry, mate! We were worried for you! We have to go and tell Mum right away-!" Ron started to pull Harry to the door. The sudden tugging caused the gauze to slip further and the books tumbled out of Harry's hands. The large stack fell right onto the toe of his right foot - a toe he had recently hit hard against a large statue he had been frustrated at.

"Ron!" Harry said, wincing in pain. Wincing caused him to pull his arm back - the arm still in Ron's grip - which, in turn, caused the Gauze to tug again. "_Merlin!"_ Harry hissed in Parsel, slipping into the language in his pain.

Ron flinched at the rough language.

Harry felt a smooth hand rest on his head. "Is there a problem here?" Said the cold, collected voice of Lucius Malfoy. Harry could feel Draco's hand softly trail along where the gauze had been before it shifted.

"Father, his bandage-"

Lucius nodded, cutting the boy off. "Come, Harry, we best be going." He said, using magic to take the books he had bought and put them in the pouch.

"Wait! Harry! We have to tell Dumbledore that-" Hermione started to say, the same time that Ron started saying, "Harry! What are you doing with _those_ _slytherin _gits!"

Harry flinched slightly at Ron's harsh use of the Slytherin name. "I made my choice this summer, Ron," Harry interrupted them, causing both to halt their accusations instantly. "I made my choice to broaden my horizons, unhindered by petty limitations. I realized that the only true _companions_," Harry said the word in the same way Ron had said _Slytherin_. Both flinched. "I have are stupid-" Hermione gasped. "Ignorant, annoying, _biased_," Ron made a small protest. "morons at best! True, I know that they are at least half of these things, but they're these things in a different way than you are. I decided to change. It's your choice on wheather you want to change with me or not."

Hermione looked between Lucius, Draco, and Harry with a very wide-eyed, confused look. Then, suddenly, her features hardened, and she turned away from them. "If that's how you want it to be, Harry, then... then fine!" He could hear the tears in her voice. "You don't need us anymore! Go ahead and leave _us! Us, _who have been beside you the whole time! Fine - _Fine!_ But I'll tell you this!" Hermione spun angrily at Harry, her hand making it's way across his face.

He hissed in pain as she re-opened a wound. "You'll _never_ be reaccepted into Gryffindor. You _may_ be the Boy-Who-Lived, but I'm the reason that Griffindor still _has_ points. They will side with me, when I share what you've been up to, and you won't be welcome. You'll be shunned worse than in Second Year. You'll _regret_ this day, Harry James Potter." Hermione turned so that he couldn't see the tears streaming down her face, and she dragged Ron away.

Draco laughed thrice before stopping. "Remind me why you were friends with them again?"

"Enough, Draco." Lucius said. "We need to go back to Headquarters; your wounds have re-opened, and I don't want this on my head."

XxXxX

**There. Long, Angsty, and fun.**


	9. My Boyfriend and I discovered the New

**Only because I love you all.**

**XxXxX**

Hermione's heart-wrenching sobs filled Grimmauld Place; even Walburga had the decency to shut up, and that was saying something.

Sirius sat across from the two, Dumbledore at the head of the Table. Ron was softly rubbing small, comforting circles on her back as she cried. He was trying to explain what happened without upsetting her more, but it was rather... impossible.

Once Ron finished his tale, both men were pale-faced.

Suddenly, a loud, high-piched laugh resonated through the room. "I always knew that Dorea's kids would come to good some day!" Walburga's voice said. "I knew her husband, Charlus was no good, and so was their son, James - but Harry, oh, yes, _Harry_ will bring back good blood, once you die, Sirius."

"Shut _up_ you old hag!" Sirius yelled to the portrait, his voice shakey.

"Make me!" She replied. "You know, I wonder if..." She started ranting in soft tones, walking back and forth in her frame. Finally, Mad-eye had enough and closed the curtain above it.

"I request an Order meeting - Now!" Dumbledore said. Quickly, the two Order members in earshot went to go alert the others.

Once everyone was gathered, Dumbledore stood to adress the masses. He felt every one of his 137 years.

"I am afraid," Dumby said, trying to figure out how to phrase it correctly. "I am afraid that I carry bad news."

Immediately, people looked around for a missing head - someone who had died.

No one was missing but Severus.

So one of Molly's children then...?

No, she looked just as confused as they did...

Dumbledore paused dramatically before resigning to his fate. "Harry Potter is-"

He was interrupted by the sharp knocking at a window. A white, snowy owl was sitting there with a letter attached.

On it was four words, two of which were written in an unmistakeable sharp print. The other two were in a different handwriting; It seemed fluent and loopy, though it wasn't without a few ink splots.

_I quit._

_-Sev'rus Snapeadiddly_

XxXxX

Meanwhile, in the Dark Lord's Headquarters, Harry had figured out how to add a fifth basement floor. He had used magic to carve out some of the wall so he could make a pool room for the Death Eaters (and himself), but he then figured out that he didn't need to, as the whole mansion was sitting atop a natural Hotspring.

Yes, while Dumbledore was accusing Harry of going Dark and betraying his parents, as well as killing puppies for the fun of it, Harry was having a Pool Party with the Darkest Forces known to Britain since Salazar Slytherin himself.

XxXxX

The school year arrived not long after that.

Harry and Draco had become closer after Harry had shown the peroxide-blonde the hotspring. Draco had nearly begged to be taken to the next Death Eater meeting - much to Narcissa's horror and Lucius' glee - only to find out that Draco just wanted to go swimming.

Anyways, Harry was, at the minute, on the train on the way to Hogwarts. He was in a Slytherin carriage, of course, sitting across from Draco. The other Slytherins looked upon him with Unmasked hatred, and several even wanted to curse him.

What was the bloody Boy-of-the-Light doing in a car with some of the Darkest students there are?

They soon found out when Draco had offered something to Harry and his sleeve pulled back as he reached for it - the little silver snake bracelet had been revealed, and all of them recognized it.

The Dark Lord wore one exactly like it. Their respective fathers and mothers had seen it on the Dark Lord, and had reported their findings to their family for no reason other than speculation.

"H...P...Potter," Said Theo Nott, "What is... what's _that?"_

"Hm?" Harry said through a mouthful of Honeydukes' Finest Chocolate. He swallowed before pulling his sleeve back up. "This? It was a gift from the Wicked Witch of the West."

The muggle reference was lost on them, but they paled further when they realized that he meant Voldemort.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road? No? Okay then. Draco, did you finish our Potions Essay?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, why?"

"I just wondered what it was. I don't have the assignments memorized, ya know? And my muggle relatives had burned my books and assignments as soon as I had gotten home last summer."

"I believe we had to explain the potency of Basilisk Venom and its' uses in no less than two potions."

Harry silently mouthed 'Ah!' before getting out a parchment. This was an easy assignment.

_Harry Potter._

_Basilisk Venom is fantastic for killing all sorts of people. Adding it to any potion is sure to cause it to become rather acidic and lethal. Also, it's a great way to ruin someone's day._

"There. Done." Harry tucked the parchment into his backpack. No one had the heart to inform him that Severus had quit - not that he didn't know already. After all, he had signed the note. "So, anyone want to make a few bets?"

"Bets _how?_" Asked Pansy Perkinson, who had a known love of betting.

"Okay, here's the plan-" Harry started saying. The rest of the trip was spent working out flaws in the plan - it was perfect by the time the train rolled into the station.

**XxXxX**

**You're welcome. Make me proud and review!**


	10. Chosen One, a Slytherin named Harry!

**So, I decided that I was going to destroy any and all feelings of laziness today and write. Someone reviewed and asked, "Is Dumbitch still a teacher?" My paraphrasing, mind you. Well, tell me this: is she?**

**XxXxX**

Hermione and Ron sat none-too-patiently at the Gryffindor table for Harry to show up. They had already started Plan Cheese of the Master-Plan-Aisu (Icecream). However, Harry didn't show up before the first years arrived - which left the question; Where is Harry Potter?

Once all first years were sorted, the Headmaster stood to welcome them.

Fortunately - or Unfortunately, depending on who you asked - the double doors opened before Dumbledore could speak.

In walked a very proud, dignified fifth year with dark hair and eyes like emerald fire.

"Ah!" Dumbledore said, raising his arms in a welcome. "Harry, my boy! Come and join us!"

Harry paused his stride in a planned spot right between two tables - they Gryffindor and Slytherin tables. They hadn't planned it my any means, but Harry had paused right between the two main groups as well. Hermione faced Harry with a look of betrayal on her face - Draco faced Harry with a look of victory.

"Oh, No thank you," Harry said. He tipped his head to the right - towards Slytherin - as if he was listening to something. "In fact -"

"_Hem Hem."_

"-I think that I-"

"_Hem Hem!"_

_"-_would like to call upon my rights as the heir to the-"

"_Hem Hem!"_

_"-_Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor lines-"

"HEM. HEM!"

"-and Order the Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry-"

"MISTER POTTER!"  
"To allow me,"

"Harry Potter!"

"To have a resorting!"

The school, minus the Slytherins in-the-know, was shocked.

Each house had an individual thought that went as such;

Gryffindor: _Are we not good enough for him?_

Ravenclaw: _How did he know he could invoke those rights!? What book was it in?_

Hufflepuff: _Good for Harry! Where is he going to end up next?_

Slytherin, minus those ITK: _The Brat-Who-Lived does it again, he takes the spotlight. _

Those ITK: _Ha-rry! Ha-rry!_

"Oho!" Exclaimed the Sorting Hat from Professor McGonagall's hand, "Some exitement! Goodie! Give him here, Give him!"

Harry smiled, glad that Hogwarts had accepted his request.

Quickly, Harry ran forward like the child ne never got to be and he sat down on the stool that hadn't been removed yet. Harry then turned a cold gaze to the Head of Gryffindor.

"Well?" He asked in a tone that said he clearly wasn't amused.

Quickly, she put the hat on his head.

Three minutes of ear-shattering silence passed before the Hat called out...

XxXxX

Severus contently relaxed in his room, the potion cauldron sitting to simmer for the next hour.

Calmly, he weighed the cons and pros of his next possible choice. Dare he? Or are his Slytherin instincts too strong?

What to do, what to do?

"Oh, fine!" Severus said aloud, vanishing his potion. Quickly, he rushed to the Dark Lord's chambers. Ever since he started training Harry, Voldemort had given Severus access to his rooms, just in case anything went wrong.

Voldemort was in there, yes, poking at one of the Gobsnap rocks.

"_How do you work, you stupid piece of magic?" _Voldemort whispered, touching his wand - no, not his wand. Lucius' wand - to the red rock. Immediately, it exploded into six more.

"My Lord," Severus said, to get the Dark Lord's attention. His head snapped up from its' position of resting on his desk, (eye level with the rock) to glaring at Severus.

"Yes? I thought Harry was in school still?"

Severus bowed before answering. "He is, My Lord, but I wanted permission to follow him to school in order to keep an eye on him as well as further his training. I could go disguised as a first year and get myself sorted into Gryffindor and-"

"Stop right there, Severus. Come forward."

Severus stopped two feet infront of his desk.

"_Disguise" _Voldemort hissed in parsel. Severus shrunk to the level of a first year, looking exactly as he had. His nose was even straight again!

"When you need to help Harry, tell him '_Na aes Savaras, Sahada Lada sanadas sa ragaradas.' _Harry will understand - he came up with the stupid language anyways. Tell him that it's Parsel."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, my Lord." He said in his young voice. Quickly, he Apparated to Hogsmeade and joined the crowd of first years.

They did the standard trip to Hogwarts; nothing overly impressive.

Once in the building, Severus snuck to a side hall and he quickly and quietly called a house elf, the Head House Elf at that.

"What can Hasty do for you today, sir?" The elf asked.

"I need you to quickly put a fake name up on the roster - Samothy Riddle. Do _not_ under_ any circumstances_ tell the Headmaster that I am in the building."

"Yes, Master Severus, Sir!" The elf said. "Does Master still make those candies-?"

"I will give you some, Hasty, if you want me to."

"Thank you, Master Severus!" The elf said, before leaving.

Severus quietly rejoined the masses, just as the doors opened.

The sorting went fairly quickly; Minerva paused when she got to his fake name.

_Samothy Riddle. Honestly, could I think of no better?_

_It was a very Hasty decision, Severus._

_Shut up, other me._

_No you, shut up. _

"Sam Riddle!" She called out. Quickly, Severus went up to the stool.

"_Hello, Severus."_ the Sorting Hat said.

"_Hello, Hat." _Severus replied, knowing that the hat would keep his secret.

"_Looking for a second chance?"_

_"Helping Harry Potter, actually."_

_"Oh, I see. Where is he, if I may ask? He's not at the table."_

_"He's not?"_

_"No, he is not." _The hat said, sounding confused.

"_Beats me. Gryffindor."_

_"Slytherin."_

_"Gryffindor."_

_"_SLYTHERIN!"

"You _stupid-!_ I will set you on fire!" Severus said to the hat, before taking it off.

"Byeee!" The hat sang as Severus walked to his table.

He immediately saw Draco and his group. There was an open space next to Draco, so Severus took it.

"Excuse me, first year - yeah, hi." Draco said. "That seat is taken."

"Of course it is. Taken by me, that is." Severus said, smirking up at the glaring fifth year.

"I will hex you."

"I'd tell your mother that you hexed your godfather. How pleased would Narcissa be if she knew that you raised your wand to 'poor little Snapey-boy'?"

Draco paled. "How would _you_ know about that?" He had accidentally overheard that conversation. When he was six, he wanted to talk to his father; but Severus had been in the room. It had been Halloween and Snape always came over during Halloween to greive for Lily. Only they truly knew how much he had loved her.

"Because I _am_ Severus, you dunderhead."

Blaise, across the table, laughed. "Yes, that's Snape alright."

Snape crossed his arms.

"I yeild, sir. What are you doing here and why are you so..." Draco ruffled his hair. "Tiny?"

"It's a Parsel Disguise spell. I came here to help Harry."

Draco actually laughed. "Well, then, you're in for a surprise."

"What?" Severus asked, just as the double doors opened, and in marched Harry.

XxXxX

**I hope that wasn't confusing, this little forward-then-back-and-forward again march. I rather liked this chapter.**

**Thoughts?**

**V**


	11. And although he had alot to Learn,

**Post 2/5 for today.**

**I present to you, Chapter 11:**

**XxXxX**

"SLYTHERIN!"

It was a huuuuuge surprise!

...not.

The Slytherin table all rose to their feet, one by one, starting with Draco.

Once all were standing they all simultaniously burst into applause of the loudest sort.

Hermione's face was _priceless_.

Harry started to walk over to the Slytherin table when something caught his robe. He turned with a scowl on his face to the _pinkest_ and _most foul creature _he had ever seen.

"Mister Potter," She said, her voice light and hideous. "That was not necessary. No one has ever had a resorting in the History of Hogwarts. I refuse to allow you to accept this change."

Harry stared at her for a second, his face flat, before breaking out into a very large smile with a dark laugh. "I would like to see you stop me madame...?"

"Umbridge." She said, her head high.

"Dumbitch. Got it." Harry smiled again, before tugging his arm out of her grip.

He walked over to Slytherin, where he saw the spot that Draco had saved was occupied.

"A first year?" He asked, the smile that had lined his face now gone.

"A Professor." Draco said.

"_Ex-_professor." Said the first year.

"Just sit across from me," Draco said, ruffling the first year's hair.

He scowled.

Harry forced his way between Blaise and Theo.

"_Snape?_" Harry mouthed in shock, once he could fully see who it was that had taken his seat.

Severus opened his mouth to respond, but the food had appeared.

Over his summer, Harry had actually learned Ettiquite, so he seemed to fit in. A bit.

Sorta.

Not really.

He was, after all, the bloody Boy-Who-Lived in a house of Vipers.

"So, um, Harry," Said a forth year. "Why did you resort?"

Harry swallowed his potatoes before responding. "Because I woke up and realized that everyone had been using me."

The Forth Year's eyes went wide, before she nodded and went back to eating.

Once the feast was done, Draco and Harry were pulled by Snape through several passages to the Dungeons. They were there before the rest of the students, so Snape had a few minutes to explain.

"Harry, I wanted to keep an eye on you. You get into trouble, even in the best of times, and I needed to further your training. You aren't nearly proficiant enough in Occulemency to surpass Dumbledore, and he most certainly will want to know where you had been. And thus, he will know that I am still in the school, hidden from his view. I can surpass Dumbledore's Legillimency - it's how I had been a spy all these years - but those days are over."

Harry smiled and nodded.

"Now, um, Harry?"

"Yes, Little S?"

"Little - ? No. You know what? Nevermind. Do you have all of your school books from first year with you?"

"Of couse I do. I stored all of them after looking over them in my Cliche Magic Trunk after my Cliche Summer."

Severus nodded as if it made sense. "I need them; it was a Hasty decision."

"I'm sure it was. Here, let me get out my Cliche Mokeskin pouch that's totally connected to my Cliche Magic Trunk and get them for you now!" Harry did so and handed Severus the books.

"Thank you, Harry."

Slughorn arrived with the rest of the First Years. Harry, like most of the older years, stayed to hear the opening speach.

"You know," Harry told Draco, "They don't do Welcome Speaches in Gryffindor."

"No?"

"Nope. Pretty much we get the password and then it's off to bed you go."

"Huh."

"Yep."

Both fell silent as Slughorn stepped forward to address the first years. "Now, I am no good at Welcome Speaches, so I will give you what my old Head-of-House had told me; Welcome to Slytherin, the greatest house there is. We are _not_ the Gryffindors, who are 'brave', if you get my gist-" He paused for the older years to laugh. "And if you don't, I was calling them stupid." The younger years laughed here. "We are _not_ the Ravenclaws who are 'smart', and we are _not _the Hufflepuffs that are 'Hard Working'. We _are,_ however, the Slytherin House. We are Dark, or we are Light. Or, perhaps, we are neither. We are sly, and we are cunning. We try to do what we can to achieve what we want, and secrets are more than plenty. The house is not split into Boys in one dorm and Girls in the other like the other houses. Rather, I have you chose one friend to stay with. This friend will know you better than yourself. If this friend of yours betrays you, then they will feel the wrath of the whole house. You will dorm with them for the rest of your time here." With that, people immediately paired off. Fortunately, with Harry new there, there was an even number of newbies. Harry was paired with Severus, which worked well anyways.

Harry sat around and transfigured their room to be better-looking for the rest of the night with the use of Parselmagic.

Morning would promise to make him rue using so much magic.

XxXxX

2/5 complete.


	12. I believe, Harry can destroy us all!

**I'm horrible. Honestly. I've worked myself into a barrier. I have several important parts stepped into place in this fic, but I don't have any connectors to them. **

**Oh well. Improv time.**

**Has anyone seen Blue Exorcist? It's really good.**

XxXxX

Looking back on it, Harry shouldn't have used so much magic the night before.

He had Dumbitch's class first thing on Mondays with the Gryffindors.

_Bloody Hell._

It was a chore to stay awake in her class. He hadn't bothered to buy her required book; it was rubbish, and he knew more than she did anyways.

"Mister Potter?" Her sickly-sweet voice said to them. "Is there a reason why you don't have a book?"

"Uh, Yes, actually." Harry said. "I can perform these spells - every single one of them - in this book. I needn't read about them, if I can perform them, am I correct?"

Her nose flared. "Mister Potter, you will never _need_ to perform these spells."

"No? And why not? Is the world always going to be a peaceful place? Will I never need to know how to stun patients, if I become a Medi-wizard? Will I never need to know how to disarm dangerous wizards, if I become an Auror? Not that I will become either, but this is stupid; not learning spells. By performing the spells, we use our magic. We _expand_ on our magic this way. It's necessary for us to do this, because if we don't our magic will feel pent-up and it will lash out, Miss Dumbitch."

"MISTER POTTER! DETENTION!"

"For what? Speaking the truth?"

"For _telling lies!_"

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned back. "No."

"No?"

"You heard me. No."

"IN MY OFFICE! Now!"

Harry sat forward and grabbed his stuff before following her.

"You will do lines, mister Potter!" She commanded, pointing to a red quill on the desk.

"Madam, this is a _blood quill." _Harry said. "These are more than illegal."

"You will write 'I shall not tell lies' six hundred times." She continued, as if she hadn't heard him.

"I think not." Harry said, setting the quill down. With a sharp swish of his wand, the quill combusted. "I will not cause physical harm to myself for your pleasure." Harry picked up the quill again and it quickly extinguished itsself. "I will be taking this to the Board of Governers, Madame Dumbitch. Good day." Harry gave her a two-fingered salute before getting his bag again and leaving.

Her face was redder than her wallpaper.

XxXxX

"Harry, my boy!" Dumbledore said. "What a... surprise."

Harry quickly dumped the quill on his desk. "I will give you one chance, _Dumb_ledore." He said, leaning across the desk. "Do something about this, or I will not hesitate to get you sacked and killed."

Dumbledore showed no outward frustration. On the inside, he was fuming. _How dare he,_ he thought. _One summer away from the Dursleys. He has gone Dark. I will not make he same mistake twice!_

"Harry, my boy, I don't see what the-"

"_This is a blood quill." _Harry all but hissed at him. "You are a very _ssssstupid_ headmaster, if _ssssshe_ can get away with _thissss!_ _Ssssshe issss_ literally _caussssing physssssical_ harm to your _sssstudentsssss_, and all you care about _issss_ your _possssition_ _asssss_ Headmaster!" As Harry's anger increased, he slid further and further into Parseltongue. At his last word, one of the silver gizmos exploded. He didn't speak for a few minutes, letting himself calm down. "Let me make this clear." He spoke quietly. "I will not tolerate any idiocy in your part this year. If I get even a hint of you not doing your job - If I get any hint of you _interfereing _in my life, I will personally see you shoved off of the Astronomy tower."

With that, Harry turned and left.

Or, at least, he tried to. The door slammed before he could reach it.

"Harry, my boy, I can't let you do this to yourself." He said, standing. "You're going down the wrong path!"

Harry spun angrily, his eyes vibrant green with rage. "_YOU ARE NOT ONE TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO!"_ He yelled, his magic whipping around the room. "I finally do what I want to do, and you stop me! WELL NO MORE, DUMBLEDORE! I WILL NOT TAKE YOUR MEDDLING THIS YEAR! NEVER AGAIN!" Harry thrust his hand forward and his magic responded. Several whoozamadibs exploded and Dumbledore was forced into his chair.

_"Stay."_ Harry whispered in Parseltongue. His magic was happy to do what he wanted it do, and Dumbledore was stuck to the chair. "Have fun leaving the chair." He said to the befuddled Headmaster. Harry was quick to leave after that, forcing the door open with a soft, "_Open" _that caused the doors to fall of their hinges.

_Where did I go wrong?_ Dumbledore wondered.

XxXxX

Meanwhile, in Riddle Manor, Voldemort was playing a game of chess with Lucius.

"Check." Voldemort said, sliding his black queen into position.

Scowling, Lucius moved his Knight to block the King.

"Ah, ah, Lucius, you forget." Voldemort said, picking up the white knight. "Severus is on our side now." The white knight quickly painted itself black with magic.

XxXxX

Speaking of which, Severus was having a hard time believeing that _Slughorn_ could teach potions.

Of course, Severus didn't do a good job of _teaching_, either, but he at least knew what he was doing.

This man didn't know anything about potions.

Severus rolled his eyes as he added the lacewings.

The stupid fat man knew nothing.

XxXxX

**I know I said 2/5 TODAY last chapter, but I think It's more like 3/5 this break... yeah. I'm lazy. It's Spring Break.**


	13. Hermione said this softly,

**I'm stuck, people! Help me! GIVE ME IDEAS!**

**XxXxX**

Harry was humming a merry tune as he went back to his Common Room for the night.

Dumbledore was still struggling to get out of his chair. Harry had asked his magic to inform him of Dumbledore's doings.

Once in his common room, Harry looked around. He was bored again. Then, he spotted it.

Yes, this would be perfect.

_Hahaha._ Harry laughed in his mind an hour later. He was facing Draco on the chess set in the room.

It was slytherin politics, really. The winner at Chess is the better. The more people you could beat, the more likely you were to succeed in life! Haha!

"C4." Draco said to his pawn.

It moved back a space, knocking his queen off of the board.

"What!?" Draco exclaimed, looking wide-eyed at the board.

"Pawn, H4." He said. Instead of moving backwards, as it should have, it moved forward to F4.

Those watching the game (i.e. the whole house) were shocked. Harry bewitched the board.

One of the fifth years laughed. "Harry'll go far!"

The room laughed.

Yes, Slytherin Politics are truly difficult things - all lies and subterfuge.

Of course.

XxXxX

Dumbledore managed to finally unstick himself from his chair...

Er, not really. He had to rip his robes to get up, and the robes were still stuck to the chair.

Quickly, Dumbledore went to change.

Only to find out that he couldn't.

The Robes were seperately glued to him now.

Dumbledore hit his head against the wall.

XxXxX

Severus tugged on Harry's robes once his Backwards chess game was finished. (He won).

"Lessons at 8, CoS." He whispered to the boy. Harry nodded.

Once eight P.M. rolled around, Harry left the room with Severus to go to the Chamber.

"_Open"_ he told the snake, once they arrived. The two slid into the chamber, Harry cleaning the slide as they fell.

"Alright, we're going to continue your Dark Arts training..." Severus said, once they both were standing.

Harry was quick to move some of the stone out of the way so they could go further.

"Dark art are a very dangerous and delicate art," Severus started. "They need to be treated with... wi... with.." Severus trailed off as he saw the Basilisk. "THIS IS AMAZING!" Severus yelled, completely out of character. "Oh, man, the value of this stuff - the venom, the scales! Oh, the Potions I could-" He seemed to remember at this point that Harry was still in the room. "Oh, erm." Severus stood back up from the position he had slid into and he cleared his throat. "Yes. Moving on-"

"Severus, you can take some if you want it. It's not going anywhere."

"You mean it?" He asked, his wide, childish eyes lighing up in excitement. "YAAAY!" Severus immediately went to the Basilisk corpse again and started peeling it apart.

"Here, Severus. Have a Mokeskin pouch. I bought several when I was at my Cliche Shopping Trip, considering I'm so rich and they happened to have several."

Harry sat on the sidelines, writing a letter to Voldy, as Severus got his items.

_Dearest Well,_

_How is Timmy? I heard he fell into you again. _  
_Haha, I'm just joking, Tom! Don't hurt me, my Master and Oh-So-Kind Lord!_

_Anyways, I'm in the CoS at the minute. Severus is getting Basilisk parts. Whatever. _

_How are you?_

_I glued Dumbledore to his chair._

_It was fun._

_Also, the new DADA teacher needs to be murdered._

_It might be my weekend project. _

_Any ideas?_

_Anyways, Severus is having trouble getting some parts without getting cut by the Basilisk's fangs. I gotta go before he hurts himself._

_See ya,_

_-Harry McPotter_

_Leader of the Anti-Umbridge Brigade._

_No. Battlefront._

_Yes. Anti-Umbridge Battlefront._

_Name under construction._

Harry smiled and put down his quill.

They finished collecting parts nearing midnight, so they had to sneak back to their common room.

Of course, Umbridge had to be patrolling.

"Oh, Hello, Dumbridge!" Harry said to the foul toad gleefully. "We're just on our way back from the Chamber of Secrets! Care to meet _Awesome Snake?_" He said the last part in Parsel. It came out at _Ssasssayaassa Sssarapassssa_, which seemed like a name.

Umbridge's eyes went wide. "DETENTION, POTTER!" She screamed in her high-pitched voice.

"Didn't we go over this earlier?" Harry asked as they walked past her. "I don't like you. I'd be careful this year." Harry smiled sweetly at her, before skipping down the hall, singing, "_Dumb-the-bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down! Dumb-the-bridge is falling down, That toad lady~"_

Umbridge stared down the hall after Harry in shocked anger.

It was war.

XxXxX

**It's a bit short, I know, but I'm running low on ideas! I have points set, and then... what in between? I'm stuck in one of those In-Between spots.**


	14. as she and Ron hid

**Thank you for all of your wonderful ideas!**  
**My favorite:**

When in doubt torturing a Weasley or two is always good.

**From Katconan**

**Thank you.**

**XxXxX**

"Harry Potter is to report to Headmaster Dumbledore's office after class." said Professor Umbridge. Harry had decided to chill in her class, if only to drive her mad when she tries to make him do something.

"Yes, Ancient Red!" Harry said, smiling.

She froze when she heard Harry's name for her. "What did you call me?"

Harry dropped his smile before she turned around and, in a dead tone, he said. "I called you nothing, Ancient Red. I simply used your Werewolf name, given to me from the stars and the Nargles."

Ron and Draco both gave Harry identical looks of '_What are you on?'_

Umbridge walked over to Harry's desk. "If my _wolf name_ is Ancient Red, then what is yours?"

"I am Savage Fire, Miss Ancient Red." Harry replied in the same dead tone. "Or so says the wrackspurts."

Umbridge's face went red. "TO THE HEADMASTER! NOW!"

"I don't want to go and see White Red todaaay!" Harry whined, taking the tone of a young child.

Her face grew redder. "NOW!"

"Now!" Harry mocked.

"I MEAN IT!"

"I mean it!"

"DETENTION, MISTER POTTER!"

"I am Mister Fire to you, Madame Red."

She threw a book at the wall, causing a picture to fall.

"Harry," said Draco, genuinely curious. "Where _did_ you get those names from?"

Harry turned to Draco and smiled. "There's a muggle communication site, and you can post pictures on it. This was there - I took the first letter of their first name and the last letter of their last name and matched it up with that the picture said the results were. My cousin, Dudley, showed it to me. He was Ancient Vixen, and he had wanted to taunt me with how cool his name is compared to me."

Draco's face was screwed up in confusion, but he nodded.

"Harry, what's mine?" Asked Daphne Greengrass, who had turned around. Umbridge had gone to the front of the room to rant about respect.

"It's Ancient Temptress." Harry said. "The names have nothing to do with actual werewolves; some muggles have stupid misconceptions. Draco is Ancient Vixen as well." Harry rolled his eyes as Draco's face went red.

"Hey! Harry! I want to know mine!" Said Vincent Crabbe.

"Graceful Red." Harry replied. Several other Slytherins and most Gryffindors approached him, asking for their names. Hermione stayed behind, while Ron got up.

When Ron was up next, he attempted to punch Harry.

Harry caught the man's fist easily. "Oh, now, Gray Vixen. I never thought you to be so petty as to default to physical violence to solve an issue!" Harry taunted, smirking at the angry boy.

His face grew red and angry. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

"Okay." Harry said, as if Ron had asked if Harry wanted an icecream.

Ron stepped back as Harry stood up, summoning his magic.

Those in the room could literally see the waves of magic rolling off of the boy.

"You see, Weasley," Harry said, taking his sweet time to get his wand out. "I learned some things this summer."

Ron took a step back, glancing around for help. He noticed that there was a rather decent-sized ring being formed around them. Umbridge, too, was in the crowd, her face pale. _This boy has too much power!_

"I don't expect you to know what I had learned; it's rather... scarce magic, you know?" Harry finally drew his wand, a beautiful Ebony and Elder Wood wand with the core of a Basilisk Fang, Phoenix Feather, some of his blood and the blood of a Unicorn. He had recieved it during his Cliche Shopping Trip, of course.

Harry pulled his wand to eye-level and ran his fingers along the sculpted wood in a very Voldemort-esque style. Ron gulped.

"We duel on three. Umbitch, if you would?"

Umbridge gulped and counted shakily, "One... Two... Three..."

As soon as the _th_ in three left her lips, Harry shot a soundless _Sectumsempra_ at the Weasley.

He barely managed to dodge, before casting, "Expelliarmus!"

"_Calvario!" _Harry said spell, having been said in Parsel, was bright green. This spell hit, causing Weasley's red hair to fall out. The room was shocked.

And then Draco started laughing.

Harry cast several stinging hexes in quick succession, Ron jumping with each one.

A quick _Stupefy_ was all that was needed to take him out.

"Is... Is he dead?" Hermione asked. The spell was, again, said in Parsel and was bright green.

"Of course not." Harry said, rolling his eyes. "Do I look like I go around killing vermin? Draco, don't answer that." He tacked on the last sentence, having seen Draco's mouth open.

Harry then sighed and left the room to go hunt down Dumbledore's office.

He recieved a nice surprise when he walked in the room - the Headmaster's head was stuck to his desk.

McGonagall was standing beside him, attempting to cast spells.

"Good morning, Alpha Fang." Harry greeted, going to stand across from her and on Dumbledore's other side.

McGonagall opened her mouth to respond, but she decided against it. Finally, she said, "Mister Potter, are you the cause of this?"

"Yes." He said simply. She looked shocked that he would admit it outright.

"Can you please remove it?"

"No. Not unless I have the..." He leaned in closer to her... "Password." He whispered, before leaning back and smiling. "I could give you a hint, but what is the fun in that?"

"Mister Potter! I demand that you fix this at once! He's been stuck like this for a week! We only just now figured out the Magic Pattern on him, and we still can't reverse it!"

"Hm. That's a shame." Harry said. "Bye, then." Harry left the room, ignoring McGonagall's futile calls for him to come back.

Yes, life is good.

XxXxX

Voldemort laughed at Harry's newest letter, scaring those around him.

"My Lord?" Lucius asked cautiously, unsure if he wanted to know.

"Read." Voldemort said, handing the letter to Lucius.

_Dear Mystic Red_

_How are you? I'm fine. I stunned Weasley and shaved his head. Dumbledore's head is stuck to his desk. I made Umbridge angry and Severus is hanging off of the ceiling like a bat. _

_I had a great week. How about you?_

_Also, I need to find a way to murder Umbridge and blame Fudge. Your thoughts?_

_-Savage Fire_

Lucius tried in vain to keep his laughter down.

It was not possible.

The laughter of the Death Eaters rang through the building.

XxXxX

**I tried to get everyone's ideas in.**

**We have, so far,**

**107 reviews**

**117 Favorites**

**7 Communities**

**and 258 follows. THANKS!**

**Also, over 30K views.**

**The Werewolf name generator is easy to find. They're stupid things, so I thought I'd use one. **

**Adieu for now! **


	15. in the corner of the room! A green

**Thank you to all 12 reviewers!**

**I am working my way through to some areas where I know where I'm going. I'm thinking this story will be maybe 30-35 chapters, no promises. Maybe more.**

**-shrug-**

**XxXxX**

Severus was a harsh teacher. Harry knew he was, based on their time over summer break, but during the school year, Severus is most certainly a slave driver.

However, Harry was certainly learning much more than he ever did. Severus was truly gifted in the Dark Arts.

Harry had also enlisted several people from each house into an Anti-Umbridge Battlefront. The AUB for short, though sometimes, they call it the Barnacle Battlefront for no reason.

They had spent most of their third weekend in school planning, and then had started to carry out their plans throughout the year. Harry knew he couldn't do much of their plans due to his training, so he had delegated parts to everyone.

Plan iNSaNiTY had started.

XxXxX

Nearing Halloween, Harry felt that he could relax.

Every year prior, something horrible happened. However, this year, he and Voldemort had joined forces. There was no need to worry.

That is, until he got a letter a week beforehand.

_Dear Brat,_

Aww, love you too.

_During the last war, we had gone "Trick-or-Treating"_ _on Halloween. As such, it only feels appropriate that I invite you this year. _

_Do you wish to come? Further details can be sought from Draco; he knows. _

_-The Dork Lord._

_Oh, dear Merlin, you have me doing these stupid nicknames now._

So, immediately, Harry dropped his letter, turned to his left and perches his elbows and head on his right leg's knee, which was strung over his left leg. "Soooo, Draco. What's this about Halloween?"

Draco managed to not spit out his tea. (Earl Grey)

"Where did you hear about that?" He asked, his eyes wide.

"The Dork Lard told me." Harry said simply, poking a cube of watermellon with a toothpick and eating it.

"The...? No. No. Never mind. It's an event that was carried out during the first war; Voldemort and his followers went around killing muggle children and stealing the candy they collected. The one with the most won."

Harry untangled himself and placed a hand on his chin, stroking an invisible beard. "Interesting." He said, drawing out the word. He grabbed a quill and parchment from his bag and started writing.

XxXxX

The Dork Lord - er, Dark Lord, my mistake - was staring oddly at a chocolate bar. It had a bite taken out of it, but was otherwise untouched.

"My Lord," Said Lucius, the stupid prat. "Hey! I resent that!" He said, glancing angrily at the ceiling.

Oh no. We've broken the forth wall!

Voldemort sighed. "So you hear it too?" He asked, poking the chocolate bar again.

"Yes." Lucius said, dropping the letter on his desk. "It's frightening."

Voldemort angrily jabbed his wand through the chocolate bar. "This has been happening ever since I took a bite of this stupid bar of sugar! Harry sent it to me, so I knew I shouldn't have trusted it!"

Lucius rolled his eyes. "A letter arrived from Harry." He said, sitting across from the Dark Lord.

"Ah, goodie." Voldemort eagerly grabbed the white envelope while making a point to avoid the dark chocolate.

_Dear King of the Realm Joffery_

_I accept your inventation. I will use my cliche-summer-apparation-skills to be there before the event occurs. Ignore my name for you; the Higher Being seems to have seen Game of Thrones! #RedWedding_

_Anyways, Are you enjoying your chocolate? Compliments from the Weasley Twins. If you eat the whole bar, the voices will stop._

_Sayonara, _

_The Hairy Wizard (No, not Hagrid)_

Voldemort set the letter down and immediately shoved the chocolate into his mouth.

"Take that, voices." He said, once the whole bar had dissapeared.

XxXxX

Harry rolled his eyes at the Death Eaters, all of which were on a sugar highs now. Especially Severus.

"Anyone want to trade me three Laffy Taffies for ten Tootsie-Rolls?" Harry asked, his large pile of candy slowly being sorted out.

"Harry, nearly none of us have candy." Bellatrix said. "We only have some because you gave it to us."

Harry laughed. "No one said I couldn't steal from you guys, too."

XxXxX

"Gumdrops?" Minerva asked.

"No." Harry replied, throwing another pretzel stick into the air. He caught it in his mouth with ease.

She eyed the candy in his hand. "Pretzels?" She asked, still trying to guess the password. Dumbledore's head had been unglued the week before. He just doesn't listen. One of the House Elves was feeding him. Again.

"I never specifically said it was food. I said it was a childish thing."

She groaned.

"Hint: It's a full question that the password is."

Minerva looked around Albus' office. "Is it some sort of muggle reference?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes." Harry said, throwing up another stick.

She was tempted to hit her head against the wall.

However, the last time someone did that...

Albus said, "Ah! Harry, my boy! Can you not just tell us what it is?"

Harry glanced at the prone figure of the Headmaster before scowling. "Now I'm changing the password."

Both groaned.

XxXxX

**The first one to guess the password wins a hug from Voldemort.**

**Hints:**  
**It is not food-related.**  
**It is a question.**  
**It is childish.**  
**It is cold.**

**That's all you're getting.**

**End of 15! This is getting long :D**


	16. spell whistled past their heads,

**Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU**

**To not only you, and you, but also to my reviewers.**

**TWENTY-TWO OF THEM!**

**Congradulations to the three of you who guessed the password.**

**XxXxX**

It wasn't until christmas break rolled around that things truly got odd.

Harry had discovered some ancient Parselspells in the Chamber, so he had signed up to go home for Christmas. Severus, too, was going 'home' to Riddle Manor.

XxXxX

_December 23rd_

Umbridge was sitting in his - erm, her - office, sipping tea, when there was a knock on her door.

"Open," she said, sipping at her tea again. Opening the door was Harry Potter.

She spilt her tea. "Potter! What are you doing here?" She asked, not bothering to clean the flavored water all over her. "You went home for Christmas, didn't you?"

Harry looked around and walked out the door again.

She got up quickly and opened the door again, but Harry wasn't to be found.

Was she hallucinating?

Umbridge sat back down at her chair, but found that her chair had dissapeared.

She fell onto the floor, her cup smashed.

"Who is doing this!?" She asked, scrambling to her feet. "Detention!"

A cold laugher rang through the room. It seemed to be two people speaking at once with identical voices. "Regards from the AUB, Madame Red," it said. Her door opened and closed again.

What on the earth and in the heavens!?

XxXxX

Hermione spent her time in the library over Christmas break. She kept searching and searching for a counter, but she couldn't find one.

Ron was still bald.

XxXxX

Harry was glad to be back home for the break. He had caused no less than thirty-six pranks within the halls, as opposed to Bellatrix's eight, and the Death Eaters were thoroughly angry at the boy-who-lived.

However, all knew that they could do nothing about it without invoking the wrath of Voldemort.

Speaking of which, they had a meeting to go to.

They all made their way to the meeting hall, and they arranged themselves in their typical circle. Many greeted Severus, asking where he had been. He simply smirked at them.

Voldemort came out of the side chamber just as Severus had opened his mouth to respond, so all conversation was silenced.

"Merry Christmas to all of you," Voldemort said, spreading his arms in a sort of hug-like fashion. "I give you until New Years as a break; on New Years day, we attack the Ministry of Magic!"

Harry, from behind Voldemort's throne, smiled. He swirled his wand in a fancy form and little snowflakes fell from the ceiling.

Bellatrix squieled like a child and stuck her tongue out to get some. As soon as one touched her tongue, however, she turned green. The next to try it turned red.

"Merry Christmas!" Harry said, standing.

Voldemort's eye twitched as he glanced at Harry.

Many repeated the Season Greeting to the young Slytherin as they made their way out of the door.

Voldemort sighed. _Back to this again._

XxXxX

Meanwhile, Clone was walking around Dumbledore's office.

"Please, Harry, tell me the password!" Minerva pleaded.

Harry smiled and tilted his head sideways.

"Harry! Please!"

He shook his head.

Minerva sighed and glanced out the window at the snow. "Fine, then. Do you want to build a snowman or something?" She asked.

Harry jumped in circles gleefully. Dumbledore suddenly found that he could stand.

Harry-clone dissapeared in a puff of green and red sparkles.

XxXxX

Christmas came and went with no notable events. Harry recieved presents from all Slytherins and Death Eaters, which was no surprise. He was saddened to see that neither Ron nor Hermione sent him presents.

He had sent them gifts, afterall.

XxXxX

Ron warily poked at his present. It was wrapped in distincive Slytherin colours, just to spite him. He was sure it was to spite him - not because Harry liked the colours.

Yes, that was totally it.

Hermione had recieved an identical present. Neither had opened it.

The presents had no spells on them, as detected by one of Hermione's spells.

Sirius had already opened his from Harry; a beautifully crafted gauntlet of Goblinware with the Gryffindor and Black crests upon it.

Finally, Ron opened his present. It was a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean and Chocolate Frogs. Excited, he dug into the candies.

As soon as several beans were in his mouth, his face went green and he fell over.

"Ron!" Hermione called, standing up. She ran over to Ron and she kneeled by him, checking for a pulse. He did indeed have a pulse.

After a minute, he coughed.

"Ron!" Hermione said again, helping the poor boy into a chair.

"THAT PRAT!" Ron yelled, once he had swallowed his beans. "He gave me nothing but Death, Salt and Puke flavored beans!"

He was afraid to try the Chocolate frogs.

Hermione refused to open hers.

XxXxX

**That's all for tonight, I think. Starting next chapter, everything goes to hell. **

**Featuring:**

**Murder, New Years, Murder, Dumbledore, and Frightening children covered in blood from those he had murdered on New Years confronting Dumbledore.**

**... yeah.**


	17. as Harry had turned to those who

**I need to stop Stallin! Someone get the Allies!**

**...I'm joking.**

**Don't hurt me.**

**I would like to suggest now that you check out the cover photo, if you have not. This scene is where that comes in.**

**XxXxX**

"Tonight," Voldemort called out to his forces. "Tonight, they dine in hell!"

The Death Eaters below him all cheered. There were several hundred of them, most wearing identical black robes and white masks.

However, there was a new... addition to all robes.

The lowest of the ranks had a red dot on the hood, and the highest ranks, like Lucius and Severus, had purple dots. The higher your rank, the further down the rainbow you went. Harry was up on the roof of a nearby building with Voldemort, dressed in his basilisk hide robe.

His robe was dark green with blood red trim. He was wearing bright yellow pants and darker yellow boots beneath the robe, and a dark blue cape to match. His wand was in his wrist holster, and he had a knife stashed in a side holster. Voldemort was wearing his typical dark robe, much like a dementor would wear.

"Are you sure, Harry?" Voldemort asked, his eyebrow raised. Harry nodded, determined. "If you say so." He said, smiling. It was a truly horrifying sight. Today, the Ministry of Magic falls.

XxXxX

"Dumbledore!" Called a highly panicked voice. Dumbledore looked up from his paperwork at Minerva.

"Yes?" He asked, setting his quill down.

"The Ministry is being attacked!" she said, running to the headmaster's fireplace.

She quickly stepped in and called out "The Ministry!", but nothing happened.

"They must have closed it off!" Dumbledore said, immediately rushing out of his office. _He wouldn't make it in time!_

XxXxX

Harry had never had more fun.

"_Diffendo!_" Harry called out, laughing gleefully as the spell cut through the nearest wizard's shoulder.

Voldemort watched from the top of the statue; he was sitting on the wizard's hat.

Truthfully, he was a bit disturbed with Harry's actions. He was showing no remorse for what he was doing. Could he have truly fallen so far so fast?

Voldemort jabbed his wand out over the crowd, causing a wizard to fall and scream in pain.

Oh well.

"Avada Kedavra!" Harry said. It was the first time he had used the spell, but it gave him such a _thrill_! Smiling wickedly, Harry cast it again. And again. And again and again and again. Wizards around him dropped like flies, and he _loved_ it. Smiling, Harry pulled out his knife and enlarged it to the size of a sword. Harry then walked around and killed several people who were running away _that_ way!

Blood started to puddle around his feet.

Voldemort watched the scene in morbid fascination. This was truly unexpected. Without his consent, laughs escaped his lips. Cold, high, harsh laughter. His glee spread through his connection with Harry, and caused the boy's scar to rip open. Not that he noticed; what was more blood on him?

Harry, too, was laughing, until a spell sped past his cheek. It opened the flesh, causing him to bleed even more. He turned a cold gaze upon his attackers - Dumbledore was here.

Dumbledore was shocked when he noticed who he had hit.

"Harry!" He said, surprised. He knew the boy fell - but to _this_ extent?

The boy smiled and tilted his head to the side, holding a hand to his lips in a _shhh_ fashion.

"It'll be our secret!" He said. He was still standing in a pool of blood, and it had started seeping into his clothes. Some blood was on his head, even, from when he had cut one wizard's neck and the blood had spurted everywhere like a fountain. It had been simply _lovely!_

Harry opened his eyes to send a sort of _'Come and get me'_ message to Dumbledore, before he ran off in search of the Minister.

Voldemort hopped off of the statue and went to fight the old wizard.

Harry found the Minister easy enough. He was hiding in his office with three guards. So, he quickly disguised himself like Umbridge and walked into the room.

"Madame Umbridge!" He said, glad to see a friendly face. Harry smiled on the inside - this would truly be the best thing of the night.

"Yes?" He asked using her sickly-sweet voice.

"You're alive!" He said, getting up and smiling at her.

"Yes, I am," Harry replied, walking forward, the knife behind him. "But you're not." He said in a dead-tone, stabbing the knife into the Minister's back. Before the guards could react. He-as-Umbridge escaped the room and took the spell off of himself.

He decided those guards could live - live to tell the tale of how Umbridge was with the Death Eaters and she murdered the Minister.

Yes, it was a truly glorious New Year's eve.

Harry rushed back up to the main battle, where most Death Eaters had fled back to base. Some were duelling with other Order members, so he let them be for now.

We walked right into the middle of Voldy and Dumby's battle. Both stopped casting.

Harry smiled at Dumbledore. "Send my regards to my Parents, 'kay?" Harry said, dropping the knife and whipping out his wand in one smooth motion, while incanting, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

The pure black Parselspell cut through the air and smacked into the wizard.

He stepped backwards before slumping to the floor. Blood seeped out from beneath him.

"NOOO!" Screamed an Order member Harry didn't recognize.

She was quickly killed by the Death Eater that had been duelling her.

Harry started laughing; a laugh that scared the Death Eaters more than Voldemort's ever could.

"We did it!" He said after a minute, and once all the Order members had left. "WE WON!" He squieled like a girl and he jumped backwards to land in the spreading blood as if it was snow.

He continued to lay there and laugh until midnight.

_Happy New Year to me!_ He continued to say to himself.

XxXxX

Voldemort had taken this time to confirm his point as the new Minister of Magic.

Harry scared him.

Harry _truly and undeniably _scared him.

Harry shouldn't have had that much power - the spell he used should have killed him and nothing more. Because of the sheer _power_ he put into the spell, Harry caused the old man's insides to all spontaneously destroy themselves as well.

Voldemort was frightened now; _what if he did that to me?_

He had to kill the boy before he decided he wanted to kill Voldemort, too.

If the boy was dead, no one else could kill him.

Right?

Yes. Yes. That has to be right.

XxXxX

**Muahaha.**  
**Was that too gory? I think it was perfect.**

**And now I'm crazy, right?**


	18. had wronged him! Ron, Hermione

**Welp, Fanfiction hasn't wanted to upload 17 yet, so I'm writing 18 instead of C5 for "Split".**

**XxXxX**

Harry and Co. returned to school on the seventh of the month.

It had taken that whole week to clean the blood out of his robes. He had to keep asking his snake that I totally haven't forgotten for venom.

Snake venom works as great cleaning product.

He hadn't missed the fear-filled looks that people have been shooting at him.

As soon Minerva stood to give a welcome-back speech, the double doors burst open.

Hm. Perhaps that could be a sort of tradition, to interrupt the headmaster/mistress before their speech.

Yes. That was definately going to happen next year.

In through the doors were Aurors, who stormed their way to the front desk.

"Yes, Aurors?" McGonagall said, greeting the Wizard Cops.

"We are here to arrest Madame Dolores Umbridge under the charge of murdering the Minister of Magic. Her sentence is Death." He said, pointing to the woman. The two other cops behind him ran forward to arrest her.

She put up a fight, but she eventually was dragged far enoguh down the aisle to be seen by Harry.

Harry quickly motioned for Sev and Draco to move out of the way.

A quick black spell sped past both of them and hit Umbridge dead on.

She went slack in their arms and blood seeped from her mouth. Then her nose.

The Aurors dropped her and pulled out their wands.

"WHO DID THAT?" The head one yelled, looking around.

Draco and Severus looked in surprise at Harry.

"How did you do that?" Draco whispered.

Harry smirked. "I learned some tricks on New Years." He replied, leaning back, and hiding his wand away again.

Fortunately - or, again, Unfortunately, depending on who you asked - the Head Auror had heard Draco in the otherwise silent room. He walked over to the Slytherin table and dragged Harry from his seat into the middle aisle.

"Can I help you?" Harry asked innocently, not even bothered by the blood seeping (once again) through his shoes.

"Did you kill her!?" He asked.

Harry smiled. "And if I did?"

His face grew red with anger. "Why did you kill her!?"

Harry rolled his eyes and wagged his finger. "She was going to be put to death, anyways. Truly, I saved you some time!"

The Auror whipped out his wand, and Harry lazily took out his.

"FIGHT!" Yelled a Gryffindor.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Was chanted through the hall.

"Expelliarmus!" The Auror yelled at Harry, who still hadn't taken his wand out. Harry quickly side-stepped the spell. "Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Stupefy!" Harry kept side-stepping, and he paused to yawn. The Auror's face screwed up even further in anger. He then upped his spell levels. "Stupefy! Diffendo! Stupefy! Petrificus Totalus!"

Harry stepped aside for the Diffendo _just_ right, so that the spell would cut open his cheek again - the same side and the same spot as the cut that had _just_ healed from New Years.

He tutted at the Auror. "First year spells? Is that truly your best?" He asked, smiling innocently.

Harry had finally gotten the wand fully in his hand.

"_Stupefy! Stupefy! Expelliarmus! Diffendo! Diffendo! Diffendo! Stupefy! Avada Kedavra!" _As soon as the green spells left the boy's wand, the school got up and scattered.

"I'm tired of people _telling me what to do._" He said, his magic whipping up around him. "I'm tired of people _trying to kill me -_ I'm tired of _manipulations_!_I'm tired of all of you!_"

XxXxX

_"Long ago, the four nations lived together in Harmony._

_"Then, everything changed when the Slytherins attacked._

_"Only the Chosen One, master of all four personallities could stop them._

_"But when the world needed him most, he Vanished._

_"Ten years pass and my boyfriend and I discover the new Chosen one, a Slytherin named Harry._

_"And although he has a lot to learn, I believe,_

_"Harry can destroy us all."_ Hermione said this softly, as she and Ron hid in the corner of the room. A green spell whistled past their heads, as Harry had turned to those who had wronged him. Ron, Hermione, the teachers, most of the school.

_Merlin save us all!_ Most were thinking.

XxXxX

Meanwhile, Voldemort was asleep. Yes, Dark Lords need sleep. He dreaming of Harry's doings, much like Harry sometimes does with his.

He awoke in a cold sweat.

_Harry is out of control._

_Harry needs to be stopped._

Voldemort was quick to get up and grab his wand.

No one stopped him as he rushed out of the manor, and he apparated straight into the Castle.

The wards had fallen, due to Harry's magic, but somehow, the castle was still standing.

Voldemort rushed to the Great Hall. Barely anyone noticed him as they rushed to get out; what was _he_ compared to _this?_

Voldemort managed to get through the doors, and he took notice of the castle.

No, _no! _He had wanted to _take it over,_ not _destroy it!_

Harry was standing there, in the middle, his magic whipping up blue flames of raw power.

XxXxX

**So, yeah. Harry snapped.**

**Tornarry or Harado? **

**One does not simply walk into Mordor.**


	19. The teachers, even the whole school

**So I took my dear sweet time planning how the end of this story is going to go. **

**Don't worry - we still have a good 10-20 chapters left! After all, there's still the Horcruxes to get.**

**Trust me, you'll love it.**

**I regret to say that I might not be able to fit in as much **_**humor**_** humor. I'll definately be chalk full of **_**dark**_** humor, though! WOO!**

**Yeah, I've lost it.**

**XxXxX**

Inside of Harry's mind, there was a smaller war going on.

"Where am I?" Asked green-eyed Harry - _Harry_ Harry. He was the outside of Riddle Manor - he could classify _that_ much. But at the same time, it wasn't Riddle Manor. The grass and sky were bright red, and the manor was black. There was a leafless tree that was dark red.

Standing across from him was another form of him. Except it _wasn't him_. His skin was pale white and his hair was too black. He was wearing the same thing that _Harry_ Harry was wearing, but in a much more drastic form. The whites of his school uniform were a glowy-white like you'd see in a bowling alley, and the blacks _so dark_ that there was no colour. _Not-Harry_ Harry's eyes were the blood red of the sky.

"Who are you?" _Harry_ Harr asked.

_Not-Harry_ Harry smiled. "I'm you, and this is your soul." _Not-Harry_ Harry gestured to the surrounding area.

Harry glanced around. "I don't understand - I thought my soul would be a little... less... _red._"

_Not-Harry_ laughed. "Yes, well, technically this is _my _soul and not _your_ soul, even though we're the same person."

Harry gave _Not-Harry_ a 'what are you on' look. _Not-Harry_ sighed.

"It goes like this - that night, when Voldemort killed your parents, he made you into a Horcrux - you are the holding center of a small shard of Voldemort's soul. You are the _eighth_ horcrux - _I_ am the eighth horcrux. Because the horcrux has been in you for so many years, it has pretty much grown into your soul. And thus, that is what I am. I am you, but I am not you. This is your soul - but it's really my soul."

Harry looked around. "That's a little hard to understand."

_Not-Harry_ laughed. "Yes, I suppose it is. Either way, where do you think this power boost of yours has come from? I am the part of you that caused this bit of insanity - this _lack of care for others._ That night in the Graveyard woke me up. I've been subtly controlling you for weeks now. _I_ am in control now. _I_ am the one wreaking havoc on the school."

Harry backed up three steps from _Not-Harry._ "You're lying." He said disbelievingly. "I... I did this of my own accord. They deserved this! They were never my friends! Voldemort loves me like _his son!_ I'm _safe and happy_ with Voldemort!"

_Not-Harry_ raised an eyebrow. "See for yourself." He said, and waved his hand. A little bubble appeared, out of which Harry could see the scene at Hogwarts.

XxXxX

Voldemort was looking around the hall as people ran. Harry's magic was sparing no one - several had already died.

"Harry!" Voldemort yelled at the teen. The boy turned his eyes to Voldemort, and his magic reacted accordingly as well.

_Dammit!_ Voldemort thought. _I had wanted him to help me take over Hogwarts, not destroy it!_ "Calm down!" He yelled. "This is counterproductive!"

Harry walked his way over to Voldemort, his magic whipping up around him like a barrier. He stopped a foot before Voldemort, and looked up menacingly at the Dark Lord with his angry red eyes.

Red eyes that were exactly like Voldemort's.

"Counterproductive, you say?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. However, it was not Harry speaking. Not the _annoying brat_ Harry that Voldemort knew. "Then _stop me._"

Voldemort quickly drew his wand and casted an Avada Kedavra. Harry constructed a quick shield made of pure magic that stopped the spell in its tracks. In fact, it seemed to only _increase_ the magic level that Harry had.

_What now?_

XxXxX

"No!" Harry yelled, trying to run his hand through the bubble. "NO! He likes me - He _loves me like a son!_ He wouldn't - He - _he t-_ no!"

Tears rolled down Harry's face as _Not-Harry_ laughed. "I told you!" He said. "I told you that the Dark Lord doesn't care about you. He would kill you if it meant saving himself."

Harry closed his hand in the grass. "You said you were a part of his soul, right? Then why is he trying to kill us?" Harry glanced up at _Not-Harry._

_Not-Harry_ shrugged. "He doesn't know I exist, most likely. That or I've become too large of a threat for him to handle, and so he figured that killing me is for the best.

"However, I'm not about to let him decide what's best for me. We're going to go and kill him first."

XxXxX

Harry smiled evilly and his magic constrained Voldemort. "Tell me, Voldy dearest," Said the boy, his red eyes piercing into Voldemort's soul. "Where are the other Horcruxes?"

"Oth-" Voldemort started, but his windpipe was blocked by the magic.

"Locations, please. Don't play dumb." Harry said.

XxXxX

"Why are you doing this?!" Harry yelled at _Not-Harry_.

_Not-Harry_ smiled. "It's for fun, really. You're such a dreadfully boring person."

XxXxX

Voldemort couldn't stop himself as he spilled out all of the locations of his most prized possessions.

Harry smiled again. "Thanks, Mortdevole." He said, before telling his magic to rip the Dark Lord's new body to shreds. He opened up the Grand doors and quickly made his way up to the Room of Requirement to get the Diadem. He made short work of anyone who stepped in his way.

XxXxX

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall, those that had been hiding quickly averted their eyes to the blood littering every corner of the room.

Ron and Hermione quickly met up with Luna, Neville and Ginny.

"We need to stop him!" Ginny cried, once they had found a 'safe' room that was free of blood.

"No kidding!" Ron replied, trying unsuccessfully to rid himself of the life of his classmates.

"We're just _fifth years,_ though! How can we possibly stop... _that?_"

Fred and George spoke up. They had followed the five once they had seen them.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" George asked, sitting in one of the chairs.

"We just need-"

"-To attack him-"

"From a distance." They finished in unison.

Hermione looked up. "From a distance?" She asked, confused. Don't all spells work from a distance?

"With pranks and stuff!" Clarified Fred.

"For example,"

"If he walkes into-"

"A trap down here-"

"-He can't exactly-"

"-Get to us-"

"If we're-"

"On the seventh-"

"Floor." The two finished again in unison.

Luna's face split into a grin. "Let's do it."

XxXxX

**So, yeah. I hope that made sense. **


	20. Merlin save us all!

**Ugh. I'm so bored.**

**XxXxX**

Harry-but-not-Harry grabbed the Diadem from the Room of Requirement with no issue - magic may be sentient, but the castle most certainly isn't.

Right?

Yeah.

As Harry walked back down the flights of stairs, he told his magic to destroy this horcrux.

It did as he asked.

XxXxX

Meanwhile, Hermione had quickly made some magic-connected blueteeth.

"Target approaching; floor seven." She said, sneaking around from behind the statue.

"_Confirmed._" Ron said. "_Prank 2b_ _set up_."

"_Affirmative; Prank 2a set up floor six h2."_ Ginny said. They had already set up code-names and everything in the small bit of time they were allowed.

"_Target approaching floor six, h2," _Fred's voice said. Hermione nodded, running through one of the side passages to get to one of the other locations for their pranks. They have them set up just such so that if he hits one, it's guarenteed to make him hit the rest.

XxXxX

Harry's magic was more than aware that they were setting up 'potentially' deadly 'pranks' - but there was no reason to tell its host that.

In fact, Harry's magic was more attuned to its main owner - the one it knows is hidden away, back in his mind.

Not that it cared. This Harry could speak to it - and that's all it wants.

It's what any magic wants - so if they find one that can speak to it, it is more likely that any and all magic flocks to the speaker.

Hogwarts was not sentient - it takes a considerable amount of bloodshed to cause something to become sentient. Of course, it might be possible now, considering...

Yeah.

XxXxX

Hogwarts was, indeed, _waking up._

She had woken up before, of course, in the old days. The castle hates to wake up - when she wakes up, that means one of her students has done something very, very naughty and must be punished.

Hogwarts scanned her grounds for the wrongdoer - and she 'froze in her tracks' when she realized that the wrongdoer was not in his right state of mind.

Oh, the poor child.

_And what is this?_ She wondered, sensing the other seven living forces still in the building. They were scattered, but connected.

They were stopping him.

They were _trying to kill him._

No, no, no. _We can't have that. We just need to wake him up!_

Hogwarts reached out to the smartest of the group - the strongest, as well.

_Her-mee-noy_. She whispered to the woman.

XxXxX

Hermione froze, frightened. What-?

No. She can't afford to be distracted. She went back to work.

_Her-moy-neeee_ whispered the voice again.

"Guys? Do you hear that?" She asked.

"_Negatory, Book._" Said most of them.

_Her-my-noy _it whispered again.

Confused, Hermione looked around.

She then shook her head and went back to work.

Hogwarts decided to not bother the child until she finished her trap.

_Hermione - did I say it right? Anyways, I am Hogwarts. _

"H-?" Hermione started speaking, but then she froze. "Hogwarts?"

"_Book?_" Said Ron.

"I'm- I'm fine." Hermione said after a minute. "I'm just talking to Hogwarts."

"_Talking to-?"_

_Hello, Hermione. I need a favor._

"Sure, Hogwarts." She said, uncertain.

_Harry-child is not in his own mind - this is not him acting. This is an imposter in his place, and has been all year. _

_I need you to stop placing traps for now - let him get what he is searching for. As he passes you, though, I need you to cast this spell..._

XxXxX

"Book?" Ron repeated.

"_Sorry, Cool. I was just finishing my conversation with Hogwarts. We need to stand down for now." _Hermione said through their earpiece.

"_What?"_ the rest of them said.

"Book-" Ron started.

"_Cool, shut up for a minute. Harry is not himself - we can snap him this out of this, but he needs to destroy some things first. I have a spell cast on him right now. I can summon him back here at any time. Until then, meet up Floor 5, h4, r9."_

_"Rodger." _They said.

Ron quickly made his way over to the room.

XxXxX

Harry left the castle, after detangling himself from a bear trap, three tar-and-feather stations and one thing that held him upside down and fired 'pre-programmed' spells at him, most to cause harm.

Yes, Harry was not pleased.

He didn't feel the pain - he simply shoved the pain to his good-er alter ego.

_Harry_-Harry was unhappy with this, so now he had a headache.

Quickly, he apparated off of the grounds and to the village of Little Hangleton. First off, the Ring.

XxXxX

**It's a bit short, I know, but whatever.**

**There's a face book page for my fanfictions so you can get sneak-peaks and updates on new fanfictions / chapters. I made it earlier while procrastinating.**

**It's called "Selena1234's Fanfictions"**

**See the link on my profile!**


	21. Most were thinking Meanwhile, Voldemort

**After several hour-long procrastination breaks, and several half-hours debating the chances that I was going to put it off further, I have decided that I am going to **_**get this done.**_** We have roughly three chapters left and damn if it's not getting done **_**this weekend.**_

**Hell, It's been a month since last update (for which I am sorry) and I really **_**do**_** like this story.**

**XxXxX**

Hermione, Ron, and company, were all in the Room of Requirement, as they had been last chapter, setting up a very complex trap for Evil-Harry. This was to make sure that when Hermione used her magic-y magic to summon the demon back to the castle, he didn't immediately murder them all anyways.

That is not to say that there is no chance that they aren't likely to die, but that is _beside the point._

_Totally, 100% BESIDE THE POINT._

Anyways, Hermione and Hogwarts were ordering around the other morons, when suddenly, there's a knock on the door.

Now who could that be?

The knock was so sudden, that Hermione had dropped her book!

Stunning, isn't it?

Hermione left her discarded book on the floor and she got up to answer the door with her wand firmly sitting in her hand.

XxXxX

He knew that this was a bad idea.

He knew that this was a _really_ bad idea - but what other choices did he have?

Perhaps he could go back to his family? No, that would be no good.

If he went back home now, he would have to explain why he was home early, and _that_ conversation was one he surely wanted to miss.

"Yeah, hi, mom? Dad? Harry, my best friend, yeah, you know him, Dark Prince and all, he went crazy and killed all but about thirty people and that includes the Dark Lord. Can I go to Durmstrang now?"

That wouldn't turn out well, not at all.

So what else could he do, but band together with the _bloody Gryffindors_ and end the Nuisance's life?

Oh, who was he kidding?

This was a suicide mission, and he knew it.

Resigned to his fate, he walked up the eight flights of steps to the seventh floor and he paused outside of the door.

He had discovered it earlier in the year, but this was beside the point. He didn't even have to have _half _of a brain cell to know that this is where they were.

After all, Miss Hogwarts herself had told him.

_Take that, you bloody know-it-all mudblood._

Draco paused oustide of the door, and he raised his hand.

A small hesitation...

_Knock, Knock, Knock._

XxXxX

Harry, meanwhile, was having a bloody fun time.

Murdering muggles, stealing priceless artifacts and murdering the shit out of them, just the usual day in the life of a Murderous Psychopath.

Yep.

Found one of the Deathly Hallows, too.

That was fun.

He was also having fun interrupting the more important parts of the story. Yeah, he broke the fourth wall, too. He can do that now.

Were you aware that you are almost out of Milk?

It was delicious.

XxXxX

Oh, great, Ron thought. _This_ guy.

Ron wasn't as thick as people thought him to be -

_Oh yes he is._

Harry, get out of my story. You're murdering muggles, remember?

_I got bored. Decided to see what they were doing._

Harry! Get _out!_

_Fine._ You hear a door slam.

Anyways, where were we?

YES! Ron's thoughts.

Ron _hates_ this guy. This guy, who just walked into the room. Yes.

Okay.

Ron hadn't been blind the whole year - he had seen the way that he _looked_ at Hermione. He didn't like that _look,_ not one bit.

And there it is again, as he spoke to Hermione.

The _look._ Ron may not be smart, but even _he_ could decipher that look as _longing._ Longing for _his_ girlfriend! Yes, _his!_ He had claimed her earlier in the year, even if she hadn't been aware of it.

Yep, there's the peroxide-blonde ferret now, sneering Ron's way.

Such a Sneer. That Sneer just _screams_ 'I-stole-your-girlfriend.'

It was most _definately_ that sneer, and not the 'I-hate-you-because-you're-a-blood-traitor' sneer.

Absolutely.

Yes, Ron is _certain_ that he decoded that sneer right.

XxXxX

"What are you doing here, _Malfoy?" _Hermione said, raising an eyebrow.

Malfoy raised an identical eyebrow and he sneered at her. "If you must know, I _do _have a heart, and I do want to stop Harry."

Hermione crossed her arms and leaned closer. "And what would _you_ know about Harry?" Draco leaned back.

"I would know more than _you_ would, you filthy mudblood! He happens to be my best friend." Draco smirked.

Hermione laughed once. "Oh really? Is that how it is? I'm sure you would know his favourite dessert and colour then?"

"It's Mince-meat pie and red, of course." Draco replied in a matching tone of arrogance.

Hermione scoffed. "Is that so? Then I'm sure he's never once touched a Treacle Tart while at the _Slytherin_ table. For the Treacle Tarts are most _certianly_ not Harry's favourite. He also _loathes_ the colour Green, too! The Horror, the horror! It's _Green!_"

Draco leaned closer to Hermione so that their anger-filled eyes were level. "Are you implying something, Granger? Something that I, prince of Slytherin, missed?"

"THIS IS ENOUGH!" Ron yelled from behind the two. "His favourite dessert is obviously chocolate cake and colour is gold. DUH!"

Ginny face-palmed. "Ron, those are your favourites."

"Oh."

Fred and George were in the corner of the room, making bets.

What sorts of bets? Well, we'll see that next chapter.

"Look, Granger," Draco said, straighening out so that he could seem more passive. "I just want to help him. I had known that something wasn't right with him, and Hogwarts told me that-"

"Wait, Hogwarts was speaking to you?" She interrupted, surprised.

Draco placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Granger, keep up with me here. She told me that Harry had been possessed by a _Harcrug_ or whatever-"

"Horcrux."

"Granger, shut it. As I was saying, she said that Harry was being controlled by the _Hurcrag_-"

"Horcrux."

"-And that I had to find you five and help you defeat it in order to get Harry back to normal. Plus, I didn't really want to return home." Draco then mumbled, "Not that I knew how, even if I did want to."

Hermione sighed and glanced back into the room.

After a few minutes, she turned back to Draco. "Fine, Malfoy. We'll get the Horcrux out of Harry as a Team. Once he's back to normal, however, we will badger Harry about his favourites and whoever gets the most right about him will get to keep him as their friend. Deal?"

Draco glanced at her and then to those behind her. "Deal." he said. She then pulled him into the room and she slammed the door.

"Great. Here's the plan..."

XxXxX

**Happy now? My legs are asleep and my head doesn't hurt, surprisingly. **

**Thank you to Lily for Beta'ing or whatever, I suppose. **

**Li~tan: I know the ending! HAHA!**

**... Well, yeah. Anyways, sorry again for the long wait. Flood my inbox with love while you're reading, if you want to. **

**Harry: Please don't. It makes her Happy, and I don't want this fanfiction to end, and if this ends, then **_**I**_** die!**

**Me: Shut up, Evil Harry. You're not welcome here.**

**Harry: Yes I am. I can break the fourth wall now. Watch me be welcome here - I CAN MAKE MYSELF WELCOME HERE.**

**Me: Wait, what are you- no! Stop that-!**


	22. was asleep Yes, even Dark Lords need

**I've been procrastinating again. Merlin.**

**I need to stop doing that.**

**The plan is to finish the story this week! :D**

**And you all (y'all, to some) are going to love this ending. I've had the full ending planned for weeks.**

**This monolouge doesn't apply until next chapter.**

**XxXxX**

Hermione gave Draco the quick rundown of _the plan _- and he immediately found several flaws in this _plan. _

This totally not vague plan.

Nope, not vague whatsoever.

Draco calmly explained _the plan_'s faults, and Hermione had to agree with most of them.

Ron got angrier by the minute. This was his girlfriend here, and she was openly flirting with the slimy snake!

Finally, Ron had enough. Luckily, his patience snapped after they had Ironed out _the plan_ and Hermione had delegated jobs to do.

Ron walked over to Hermione and he pulled her over to the side.

"What is going on between you two?" He demanded.

Hermione's eyes widened. "What do you mean? There's nothing going on between us!" She said this in a very offended tone.

"Don't lie to me!" Ron said accusingly. "I know you like him! It's as obvious as day! You and him have a _thing_ going on behind my back, don't you!?" He was nearly shouting now, but Hogwarts had been kind enough to supply a silencing barrier.

"What!" Hermione yelled. "There isn't anything betweeen me and Draco-"

"_Oh! _It's _Draco_ now, huh? How long until he becomes _Drakey-poo?"_

Hermione recoiled. "How DARE you accuse me of being some mindless idiot like Parkinson! I've been working my butt off, trying to save our friend!"

"_Friend!_ Right, got it! You're ready to just jump onto anyone that moves, so long as it's not me, isn't that right?"

Hermione's face reddened. "Don't accuse me of being some sort of panaphiliac, Ronald Weasley! If you liked me so much all this time, why haven't you-"

She was silenced by Ron nearly smothering her with a kiss.

Meanwhile, outside of Hogwarts' barrier, the Twins exchanged money.

They sent eachother near-telepathic eye signals, furthering the bet that they had created.

Ginny leaned to Draco and whispered, "You owe me now."

Draco thinned his lips and he nodded. They had met up earlier in the year and bet on this, as well. Their stakes, however, were much higher than Fred and George's bet.

"Now, Slave," Ginny said, "If we live through this, you'll serve me for a week, non stop."

Draco knew better than to protest.

Anyways, when Ron pulled away from the kiss, he only got a few seconds to breathe before Hermione pulled him back. After a few more minutes of that, Hermione pulled away and rested her forehead against Ron's. "What if we don't live through this, Ron?" She asked.

"Stop being so pessimistic, Hermione," He said. "We'll be fine."

"I know, but... what if?" She asked. "What if Harry can't be saved?"

"Don't worry about that." Ron kissed Hermione again. "Just stay calm, and we'll make it through this, together."

They broke apart and then rejoined the group.

XxXxX

Harry got bored, so he decided to converse with the magic. Free Magic can not be commanded, only persuaded. Harry knew this well. If you ask Magic to do something, then it will do it. If you command it, then Magic will not.

"Why don't you ever say no to me, Magic?" Harry asked, playing with one of the tendrils of Free Magic that constantly flowed around him. "Why do you always do as I ask?"

Magic almost seemed to smile. "_We trust you, Harry."_ The voice of magic seemed to whisper through the air, his mind and his soul. "_Do you want us to say no some time?"_

Harry-Harry this whole time had been silent and passive to the point that Not-Harry had forgotten about him, for the most part.

Harry-Harry took this time to lash out and break through his mind for the moment to say, "Yes."

Magic laughed as Not-Harry punished Harry-Harry within their mind. "_If you so wish, Master of Death~" _They seemed to nearly sing.

"Wait, no!"

"_Nuh-uh!" _Magic sang. "_You already said yes!"_

Within their mind, Harry curled up to see if he could avoid being hurt too badly. It worked before.

XxXxX

By the time that _the plan_ was finished being constructed, everyone was exhausted. Hogwarts kindly stored _the plan_ away into a side room and she supplied a nice little apartment-like area. There was a central, circular room that they were currently sitting in, connected to a small kitchen that Hermione was cooking in. Then, still connected to the central room, there were several doors that lead to seperate bedrooms, a bathroom and _the plan,_ just in case they decided to make any changes to it. They all decided that come Four thirteen* tomorrow morning, they would use Hermione's spell and deal with the Horcrux once and for all.

But, until then, they were tired and hungry, so they chatted for a while.

"Say, Ginny," Draco said.

"Yes, Slave?" She asked, turning to him. Draco leaned to her and whispered.

"_What are the odds that they assume that I'm saying something naughty?"_

Ginny giggled, her face tinted red. She then whispered to him, "_Pretty good. See, you can see Ron's face growing red._"

Draco laughed.

Ron's face was, indeed, growing Weasley-Red©.

Draco turned to Ginny and whispered, "_Hey, once we're done here, come to my room before you go to yours, just to see what they say."_

Ginny blushed and laughed.

Ron's face hit full Weasley-Red© and he stood up. "That is my little sister that you're whispering to, _Malfoy!_ Don't think that I don't know what you're saying to her, and i refuse to let her be... be... _seduced_ by your Dark Magic!" He yelled.

Hermione chose that moment to return to the room with food for everyone.

She smacked Ron on the nose lightly with a spoon. "Stop being such a redhead," She said, smiling. "I know it's not much, but it's something." She put the food down for everyone.

Draco glanced at Ginny and he suggestively raised his eyebrows. She smiled and the two grabbed their food and headded into one of the available rooms.

George handed to Fred three galleons.

"Come now, George." Fred said. "Mom will give you an earful if you don't loosen up with losing all of these bets!"

"Fred, Fred, Fred." George said, shaking his head. "She's more likely to kill you for creating these bets in the first place."**

Once they were all done eating, Ron and Hermione took their shared room.

George looked at Fred.

"Don't you even think about it." Fred said, taking the second to last available room.

XxXxX

*4:13 is a Homestuck reference

** Too soon?


End file.
